The Tyranny of the Good

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I was a very young boy when I started reading books. One of the first genres I fell in love with was fantasy and I devoured the Dragonlance novels with gusto.

Who could forget Caramon's big heart and undying loyalty to his brother? Or Raistlin's constant torment between good and evil? Or Tasslehoff's endearing charm, despite his thieving ways.

These books may talk about dragons and mages, of kenders and dwarves, but the characters in them face the same daunting tasks we are given, the struggle to be good. It may seem strange but the truth is, the world they portray is much like our world, filled with the same wars, the same sorrows, the same joys.

Filipina actress Valerie Concepcion tweeted last Sunday night that she performed at a party for the Presidential Security Group where President Benigno Aquino had laughed at her jokes and enjoyed her show.

It was a normal tweet perhaps for anyone who enjoyed meeting the president, but the party happened when a tropical storm hit the country and killed more than 600 people.

The message unleashed a flood of righteous indignation. People posted angry messages on their Twitter and Facebook accounts condemning her and the president for being insensitive, for having fun at a time when the nation was in mourning.

In the Dragonlance novels, there once was a Kingpriest who ruled at a time when the powers of good were flourishing in the world.

He fought evil and sought to end wars in the world. But as time passed, the Kingpriest begun to persecute not only evil, but even those who did not think exactly like him. He had begun to assume that he knew what was good for the world, and those who opposed him were evil. He had become arrogant, and in time, called upon the wrath of the gods.

I suppose there is always a danger when we start to expect that people should think and feel the same way we do. Especially when we believe that how we feel and the things we fight for are for the good. It can make us cross the line from righteous to self-righteous. When we begin to think that our way is the only way.

Under the guise of good intentions, personal liberties can be questioned; the right to not feel bad, the right to have fun, the right to feel happy.

C.S. Lewis, Christian apologist  and staunch defender of the Catholic faith, was one of those who constantly warned against dystopian futures that arises from utopian visions. In his book God in the Dock, he said

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." 

I told Rudeboy that I found it interesting how people reacted. I am always curious about people, why we do the things we do, why we are the way we are.

"It echoes the late Christopher Hitchen's contempt about the comfort these 'hysterical bunch of pearl-clutching virgins and their righteous indignation' find in conformity," Rudeboy said. "Not to sound callous, but the world does not stop spinning for any tragedies, no matter how small or great. Christmas this year will still be celebrated with cheer, shallow or genuine, dead drowned bodies or none."

I understand that people are angry. They feel helpless, and worried and upset and as is often the case, we often lash out against those who seem to not care.

But as we have seen in the past,  people will learn to move on from tragedies. Lives will continue. The holidays will come. People will still hold parties to celebrate, friends and families will give presents and cook a feast, even as thousands of others lie hungry, homeless and mourning their dead.

That hard fact may make some of us uncomfortable, squirm, or seethe at the seeming callousness and indifference but perhaps, that's just the way it is. Each of us can and will respond to tragedies in different ways. To help or not to help. To care or not to care. how much to care. To give or not to give. How much to give.

These questions pose delicate and complex issues about morality and examine our responsibility to help those who are in need. But I'm afraid there are no easy answers. Each of us must find his or her own way in the dark.

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Gossip Girl: The Games We Play (IV)

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Previously:
The Games We Play (II)
The Way We Were


On the Upper East Side, the possibilities are endless. Dom or Krug. Winston or Cartier. Tory or Stella. John or Grindr Boy.

Eventually even the people with everything have to choose. But sometimes, you learn that the choice has already been made for you.

 
 
Dating, it seems, has never been this fun. There's always a new boy to add to the list; some new guy you met at a party or through a friend. Sometimes you feel you just might have it all.

Grindr Boy and I made plans to meet that night. I was excited to see him again and I planned my day so we can have the evening together. I checked the calendar and made sure I scheduled my appointments with other guys on other days so there would be no conflict.

A few minutes before we were supposed to meet, I texted him to ask where he was. He didn't reply. After a few more minutes, I called him but he didn't pick up. I was getting worried and puzzled. I called him several times more but it looked like I was getting stood up.

Oh well, I told myself. Just when you thought things were going well. Grindr Boy was nice enough but he had been acting strange. He would at times not respond to my calls and messages but I always attributed it to his busy schedule.



A few days later, Grindr Boy suddenly texted.

"I'm now officially taken :(," he said.

I was stunned. Officially taken? What does that mean? Was he unofficially taken before and it now became official?

Every now and then, I would ask Grindr Boy about the other guys he's dating and he always said he wasn't seeing anyone. And I believed him. My thoughts were still in a disarray so I composed myself before I sent my response.

"Wow, this is a surprise. I guess this is it," I said. "Masaya ako para sa iyo. (I am happy for you.) I mean, I know how wonderful it is to find love."

"Kane, I'm sorry if I lied," Grindr Boy said. "He's my boyfriend for three years now. I met you during the time we were having problems."

Woooohhh. The hell. I couldn't believe it. I had been duped all along. This sweet boy with the sweetest smile turned out to be a lying, scheming bastard.



Uh oh. Spotted: K learning that two can play this game. It looks like our star player …  just got played. Outwitted by a boy almost a decade younger than he is, tsk tsk. Talk about a coup de grace, ladies.

 
 
"I just got scared you might get mad and won't talk to me again. Masaya kasi ako (I'm happy) when we're together," Grindr Boy continued. "I hope we can still be friends."
 
I heaved a deep sigh. Of course I understand him. I suppose I should have known better.

"I accept your apology. I understand how complicated relationships can be," I said. "I guess it explains a lot of things. Three years is something, you know. You should be proud."

 
 
The next day …
 
"Were you really surprised?" Gino asked me, disbelievingly. "Couldn't you see the signs that he was hiding something?"

I shook my head. "You know what, maybe I trust people too easily. I guess I always expect people to be honest. Are we not ba?"

"Eh siyempre Kane. I mean, ikaw ba, do you always tell your boys everything?"

"Well, not everything I suppose. But I do tell them that I'm seeing other guys. That way, expectations are clear. And I've always done that. I don't want people feeling like I led them on."

Gino and I were both quiet for awhile. He knew I did like Grindr Boy.

"Well, there's still John," Gino pointed out.

"Oh, I stopped seeing him already. I guess it just wasn't working."

"Meron ka pa naman ibang boys. (Well, you still have other boys)," he said.

"Yeah, but they're really just for fun," I replied. "I actually thought Grindr Boy and I could have something more, you know."

"So much for the one huh," Gino said.

"Or the other one. Sigh. Sometimes, people can really be so disappointing. They say they're one thing but end up to be something else."
 

 
They say you reap what you sow. Instead of too many choices, you suddenly have none. Lonely Boy finally learns the truth, only to realize it's a little too late. That perhaps, the time for love has once again come and gone.



It was a Sunday night and I was trying to rest after a tiring weekend. My phone suddenly beeped. "Kamusta? (How are you?)" Albert asked.

I called him up. "Hey! What are you doing? Listen ... remember the date you promised."
 

But that's the thing with players.

"I was wondering when you're free to meet," I said.

They can never resist the game.

"Let me know if you can get away from your boyfriend."

And on the Upper East Side, only one thing is certain: let a new game begin.

XOXO
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Immoral or Not, That is the Question

"To be or not to be – that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And, by opposing, end them."
---William Shakespeare, (Hamlet)

When my friend Jethro invited me to be part of the "I Am Not Immoral" campaign, I said yes. Not because I was particularly upset about the decision of the Commission on Elections to disqualify the gay party-list group “Ang Ladlad” from participating in this year's election, but because he is my friend and I wanted to support him.

He wanted to create a short video showing gay men and women protesting the decision of the Comelec and the branding of all gay people as immoral. The participants gave their names, said something about themselves, and the line "I am not immoral."

It appears gone are the days of marching in the streets and shouting "Off With Her Head!" Instead, people don on costumes, pose in front of the camera, and scatter the videos all over the Internet. The person who was interviewed before me wore a black-and-white Lady GaGa-inspired outfit, posed, and said "Hi. I'm a gym instructor by day and Lady GaGa by night."

So I was a little disconcerted when Jetty suddenly started asking me questions about the issue. I was flustered and told him "Wait, Jet. Bakit may Q&A? Akala ko ba simple lang ito."

I realized I was flustered because 1) I had to sound smart and intelligent!, and 2) I haven't really thought about the issue, not deeply, at least.

Fundamentally, I had to ask myself what does it mean, to be moral? Who defined it? The protest implied two things: to be immoral is not something desirable, and that gay people are immoral.

But, what if some of us are? What if, I am not moral after all? Should being moral be a requirement for a person to run for public office?

The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "There is no moral phenomenon at all, only a moral interpretation of a phenomenon." He argued it is people, individuals and societies who define morality and that these definitions change depending on who is on power.

But then I realized to explain all these things on camera requires too huge a task given I only had a few seconds of fame. Sometimes you have to know what to say and when to say it (so I'm saying it here).

And oh, the best part of it all? You get a free photo shoot. And ladies, here's my best shot.