Where Time Stands Still

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A year ago, I was a different man.

I was in love and I discovered that what the poets and writers spoke of is true: there is nothing that compares to love. Those were the happiest days of my life.

There were moments when I wanted to freeze time, so that nothing would change anymore, so that our love would last forever.



In his book Einstein's Dreams, Alan Lightman conjures theoretical realms of time. In one of his worlds, there is a place where time stands still.

People journey there to freeze moments of their lives. There you will see parents laughing and smiling with their children, lovers locked in a passionate kiss. They sacrifice the future for the present.

Perhaps it is because we know things never stay the same. Children won't be children forever. They grow up, and sometimes they become rebellious and angry and spiteful. And parents wonder at night, where did my little boy go?

Lovers become unfaithful; we all know how love can be fleeting. Who can blame them for wanting to hold on to these precious moments of their lives? When everything is exactly where it is supposed to be.

"And at the place where time stands still, one sees lovers kissing in the shadows of buildings, in a frozen embrace that will never let go.

The loved one will never take his arms from where they are now, will never give back the bracelet of memories, will never journey far from his lover… will never fall in love with someone else, will never lose the passion of this instant in time."

It is very tempting. Who wouldn't want his happiness to last an eternity? Even if it comes at the cost of stopping time.

But some would say, "It is noble to live life, and without time, there is no life."

But then again, what use is life if it ends in sorrow?

I once visited the Grand Canyon with my family. It was winter and as I stood there freezing at the edge of the cliff looking at the intricate walls of the canyon, I thought to myself how strange that people travel so far to feel so small.

Billions of years have passed, and billions of people have lived and died and we are but just one more human life in this world. And all our hopes, dreams and sorrows have been repeated again and again throughout history. After all, what is one man's joy but a speck in time.

And a thousand years from now, no one will remember us. The ordinary lives we have lived. But perhaps it doesn't matter. Like those rocks that stood before me, perhaps our stories will live on.

One day in the future, some other boy will fall in love. Perhaps that boy will be me.


"Love is all a matter of timing. It's no good meeting the right person too soon or too late. If I'd live in another time or place... my story might have had a very different ending."
---2046 (2004)

Farewell to Youth

N,

Hello old friend. They say age is but a number, but what people forget is that numbers are a very real thing. In one week, I am turning 29. As I prepare to cross that border between 20-something and 30-something, I suddenly realized I will miss me, the young me.

I will miss the Kane who was just discovering the world; seeing, tasting, touching, feeling sights, sounds, emotions for the very first time. God, what a ride it's been. I think I have never been happier as I was during this particular period in my life.

Do you remember when we first met? All this was just a dream. 30 seemed so far away, and we thought youth would never end. And now here we are, both nearing the end of a decade. Time stands still for no one.

Each year, our problems become more and more complex. We discover beautiful and ugly things about the world, and, ultimately about ourselves. We struggle to be good, knowing that each choice puts us a little bit closer to or farther from where we want to be.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring. Will it be as exciting and thrilling as yesterday? Will we find happy ever after? Does older mean wiser? Too many questions, too little time. But we won't stop, won't we.

K