Piss Off

-

Previously:
Gossip Girl: Bed Aftermath Part 1
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I think three letters are enough to adequately describe this photo. 



"Honey, I read your blog," Arlan said. "Alam mo ba, may haters ka? Nakakaloka!"

"Actually, it's not me they hate," I quipped. "It's you. They hate you and Gino. Ang maldita mo kasi."

"Gaga. Ikaw ang maldita," A said. "I was saying sorry to you last night for being late. Ano sabi mo? 'Isang pitcher!' Sabay irap."

"Ako naman, bili agad ng Kamikaze!" he said laughing.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry honey! I didn't mean it."

"Of course you did. Kilala kita. (I know you.) When someone pisses you off, they have to make it up to you."

"Ahahahaah fucker ka. Pero nasobrahan ata ako. I did something ..." I said and stopped.

"What?"

"I can't say it. Nakakahiyaaaaaa. (It's too ... uhm, embarrassing.)"

"Arte. Ano na nga?"




Earlier that day, I woke up with a massive headache. Groan. Fucker. I was still trying to recall the sequence of events last night. There was a birthday party, then we went back home, then we went to the club.to meet other friends. It was quite a night; lots of dancing, booze, and men.

My senses were starting to slowly revive when I suddenly smelled something. My room smelled a little ... funny. I suddenly realized I had guests and I frantically tried to trace the scent before everybody else wakes up.

I finally tracked it down to ... hmmmm, my laundry basket? The scent was disgusting. I still couldn't figure out what it was until finally I reached in and realized it was ... urine. Oh my God! I was horrified. It can't be. Did I actually piss on my clothes?






Apparently, I did. In the middle of my drunker stupor. My shirts, jeans, polos, underwear, shorts ... all of it was drenched in my vodka-, tequila-, cranberry-, soda-, juice-, and wine-flavored piss. My poor, sodden clothes. It smelled ... horrific.

Years from now, when we are old and grey and my friends and I would reminisce about the good old days, when we were young, beautiful and ... drunkards, we'd probably be talking about all the times I got fucking wasted.

"Do you remember when you passed out in Bed?"

"Or the time you were puking in Bed?"

"Or, outside Bed?"

"In the middle of Malate?"

"In Republiq?"

"In Distillery?"

"Or when you were too wasted you actually went home with that guy????"

The list goes on. And on ... and on ... and on ...



I once said a man has got to choose his vices; and I ... I've chosen mine. Men and liquor. But I did promise myself to never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever drink too much ever again.

But then again, you and I both know me. Until the next party.
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Gossip Girl: Bed Aftermath Part 2

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I woke up Sunday morning with a massive headache.

I was trying to recall what happened last night when I realized I wasn't alone. Why are there five people in my bed?

Oh shit. Not another Serena moment.



"Oh yes, it was. You passed out in the middle of the club," V said over late lunch. "On the ledge where everyone was staring at you. Classic K."

"Oh God, I don't even remember it. So what happened?"

"Grabe honey, there was a screamfest in the middle of Malate earlier. It was 6 a.m. already and Arlan and I were shouting at you. 'Kane!!! Halika na!!!! Umuwi na tayo!!!' (Kane!!! Come on!!! Let's go!!!)"

"Pero ayaw kang paawat eh (But you couldn't be stopped)," V continued. "May hinaharot ka pang lalaki at talagang hinila mo na lang siya sa loob ng taxi. (You were flirting with a guy and you grabbed him and pulled him inside the cab.)"

"Oh."

"And then, siguro naisip ni Arlan na 'Tekaaaa!!!! Alangan naman paghahati-hatian natin ang isang ito'. So bigla siyang lumabas ng taxi at humila pa siya ng isa pang lalaki. (Arlan was probably thinking 'Wait a minute, we're not going to share just one guy' so he got out of the cab and grabbed another.)"

"WTFFFFFF!!! Hahahha God, did people see?"

"Of course they did. It was already morning and people were having breakfast."

"I hate it. It's soooo… public," I said. "Now people will think we're that kind of girls."

"You and Arlan are the kind who pass out, grab random strangers and bring them home," V said. "I'm the kind who revives her Pretty Fucking Wasted friends."

"Hahahaha. Fuck off. I'm not!"

"Uh. Have you forgotten Sunday night? When you were spotted with some skinhead guy?"

"Oh... Was that just last Sunday? But you can be just as bad! And you know that!"



I massaged my head and picked at the food. I wasn't really hungry but I knew I had to eat.

For the first time in a long time, my girls and I were together. Glenn and Arlan were in town, Vackie had gotten back in my good graces and had been called out of exile, and Carlo decided to come even if he was sick.

Thinking of Saturday night still gives me an endorphin rush. It was just so fun, one of those nights you wish would never end. Time, please be still.

"Grabe honey, it's really fun when Arlan is here. It's like we just explode, you know… lose yourself in the moment completely," I said.

Arlan flew back to China last night. I already miss him. All that's left are memories... and a photo.
 
 
 
 
 
 

Four wise men once said, "I get by with a little help from my friends". But in the Upper East Side, some friends come with benefits.

 

 

XOXO

-

Gossip Girl: Bed Aftermath Part 1

-

Morning, Upper East Siders. Hope you all had a good night's sleep. Or at least a good night's play. Are you ready for your dish?

Spotted: Kane and his troops storming the walls of Castle Bed. But as with every war, there are always casualties.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I think three letters are enough to adequately describe this photo.

O M G

Looks like the party was a smash K. Or, at least you were.






XOXO


-

Gossip Girl: Bed Opening Party

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While Upper East Siders were hitting the snooze button, Kane had a rude awakening when the rooster crowed at dawn this morning.



"Did you get an invite for Bed's opening party this weekend?" Carlo asked me.

"What do you mean? It's opening next weekend, right?"

"Apparently, there's a strictly by-invitation-only party this Saturday for their VIPs. It's supposed to be hush hush. The public launch is next weekend. And I guess this means we're off the list."

"What? You mean we're not invited?" I was fully awake by now.

"Bed apparently is limiting their VIP list and removed some names," Carlo explained.

"And they removed our names? Are they kidding? WTF? I'm Jenny fucking Humphrey all over again?" I was getting upset. "God! Do I have to plot and scheme all over again just to get in the list … again?"



Poor K. Doesn't he know the rules by now? When you're not on the list, don't get mad… Get in.



I immediatetely called V after.

"Honey, Bed's throwing an exclusive party for their VIPs and apparently, we're not invited," I said.

"What?"

"But don't worry. I already made arrangements."

We both laughed.

"Of course you did," V said. "Don't they know? The best parties to go to are the ones where you're not invited."

Watch out Upper East Siders. Looks like our girls are making a heroic entrance. But then again, forget a grand entrance.  Everyone knows it's the exit they'll remember.

 
XOXO
 
 
-

Come Into My World

I am breaking my rule on writing; which is to write like no one is reading.

For the very first time, I am writing to someone. I am writing to YOU, my fellow blogger, reader. (I dislike the word follower; makes you feel like you're some kind of Messiah, doesn't it?)

I started writing as a way to make sense of my break-up last year. I didn't write to make new friends, I didn't write because I wanted to be heard. I wrote for me.

Writing helped me create some sort of structure; a way to step back and look at things from a different perspective. The experience was cathartic and I learned many things about myself in the process.

Over time, I met other Filipino bloggers and made friends with a few. But I have always considered myself mostly unknown in the blogger world.

Recently, I noticed more and more people are reading my blog. It is not as many as the thousands of people who read other writers but I was surprised that there were at least 160 people who read what I wrote yesterday.

I probably know around 20 of those people so I am wondering who the rest are. Who are you?

And since this is a year of crossing boundaries, I am celebrating my birthday this July and I would love for you to come. Yes, you.

I am informing you early so you can prepare a mask for the ball. You can wear whatever you want; shorts, sando, t-shirt, it doesn't matter.

The important thing is you MUST wear a mask.

Yes, it will be outrageous. No, it won't be uptight. Yes, it will be exciting as you get to meet all of my friends, the boys and girls of the Upper Eastside. No, it won't be scary, well, maybe a little.

It would be an honor to meet you, especially those who have shared their thoughts on some of my stories. You know who you are.

If you say yes to a fun, crazy night, to new friendships: please email me at kanesulfur@gmail.com so I can inform you the details of the event.

Go on... Be brave... Take that step and open the door...

Ang Lalaki sa Party

Nagsimulang siyang umindak sa saliw ng musikang bago sa aking pandinig.

"I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good, good night…"

Ang bawat galaw ng kanyang baywang ay tila isang drogang unti-unting kumakain sa akin. Dinadala sa pagkalimot… Nag-aanyayang sabayan ang kanyang pagsayaw…

Subalit wala akong lakas ng loob para siya ay lapitan.

Ngumi-ngiti sya habang sinasabayan ang kanta.

"I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good, good night..."

Lumalabas ang kanyang dimple.

Hindi sya tumitingin sa aking direksyon pero ako'y tila natutunaw na ng kanyang malalalim na mata.

"Kane!" Tinawag siya ng isang kakilala.

"Kane… Kane… Kane…"

Nagpaikot-ikot sa aking utak ang kanyang pangalan.

Mukhang pauwi na siya pero hindi ko pa rin siya nakakusap. Puro blogger ang mga bisita, marahil blogger rin siya. Paano ko kaya siya muling makikita… makakausap…

August noon sa Richmonde hotel.

Natapos na ang kanta, pero sa utak ko'y tuloy-tuloy pa rin ang musika.





Nakita ko ang blog niya pagkatapos ng siyam na buwan.

Kane Sulfur.

Kailangang maglakas-loob.



"You looked for me?"
          "Yes."
"But I wasn't lost."
          "You were lost to me."

Dare Devil

Look like a movie star
Party like a rock star
Fuck like a porn star

Once in a while, there comes a night you wish would never end.

Ferry Corsten was in town and everyone in the Upper Eastside trooped to A-Venue for a night of excess. Drugs, alcohol, and beautiful men and women were abundant and …

Spotted: K being given a real-life multiple choice question.

A. Get drunk.
B. Get high.
C. Get laid

or

D. All of the above.

Hope that wasn't the wrong answer K. But then again, we heard you can't fail this one.

XOXO

Gossip Girl Birthday Ball Season Three

Hey Upper Eastsiders! Summer's scorching but the one thing everyone's dying for is the annual Gossip Girl Birthday Ball. And it looks like the mask is the accessory du jour.

So, will there be a case of a mistaken identity? They say people use masks to conceal who they are, but what happens when the masks come off and everyone shows their true color?

Beware, heed the words of a king: Look like an angel, talk like an angel, the devil in disguise.

XOXO

All Good Things Come to an End

"They flaunt out their beautiful leaves in the sun,
And they flirt, every one."
---Ella Wheeler Wilcox, "A Reminiscence"

"Kisssss. Kissssss. Kiss kayo ni Kane," Arlan said to Cj. Cj, looking uncomfortable, was smiling at us. 
"Nahihiya ako eh," he said.

"Sige na. Go! Go!," V said, egging us on.
"Nakakahiya," Cj said, smiling shyly.

"Ano ka ba. Parang ganito lang yan," V said, and then suddenly he kissed me, slowly. We were both aware our friends and Cj were looking at us, and we put on quite a show. Our kiss ended.

"Sige na. Go," V told Cj.
Emboldened by what he had just witnessed, Cj and I kissed.

"Kayo naman ni V," Arlan said to Cj.
"Gooo! Goooo!," I said.
Cj and V kissed.

"Pinaglalaruan niyo ako," Cj said.
"Umayos ka, enjoy na enjoy ka nga eh," I said.

Arlan and Cj then kissed, then V and I kissed, then Arlan and V kissed, and then Arlan and I kissed.

It was a Sunday night and I wanted to go out for three reasons: to party on a Sunday night with V, to celebrate Eric's birthday, and to see Arlan before he goes back to China.

I was so excited to see Arlan that night. He is one of my best friends and I have missed him terribly. He used to be my banger sister before he moved away. We spent countless night boy-hunting or being hunted, getting drunk, partying. We used to dance like there was no tomorrow.

Arlan is the type of guy who can get away with many things. He can just literally grab a guy, charm him off his shoes and the guy would leave his friends and join us. Then we work on the guy, flirt with him, tease him. That night, we decided to choose Cj.

Cj was fair, lean with a cute, boyish smile you could spot the moment you entered the club.

K: Grabe, ang bad natin. Hindi man lang natin kinausap yung friend ni Cj.
Eric: OMG! May friend pala siya?
K: OMG! Hindi mo alam na may friend siya?
Eric: Hindi.
K: Grabe, ang unfair ng mundo. Mahirap talaga pag hindi ka pretty. The pretty girls get all the luck.

Everyone in the club was staring at us. We were dancing and drinking and laughing and singing out loud. The music was good, the drag show was fun. Eric went up to the stage and joined the performers. He wore their wigs and a boa and gamely posed for the camera.

And when they played "Ang Huling El Bimbo" by the Eraserheds, that's when the crowd roared.

Edward, who from the start told all of us gusto nyang manlalaki, met five guys that night, including a surgeon we all crushed on and a guy with a huge tattoo on his right biceps.

Guy with tattoo watching us kiss: Tang-ina. Tinitigasan na ako.
Edward: Naku, mahirap yan. Relax ka lang. Relax lang.

V met a guy and they locked themselves inside the restroom. (What's with restrooms, anyway?)

I wasn't in the mood for boys that night because I wanted to be pasaway. I painted my nails black and teased my hair.

While going to the loo:
Guy: "Hey, what's your name?"
K: "Kane"
Guy: What's your number?
K: Later.

Another guy introduced himself.
Guy: Grabe ang fun ninyo ng mga friends mo. And I really like your hair.

K: Grabe honey, it's like I'm doing everything to NOT meet a guy and still, I get boys. I mean, I painted my nails black. I teased my hair. I wore shorts. Nakakaloka.
V: Well, honey, pretty goes a long, long, long way.

The next day, the boys who got our numbers kept asking the same thing. Tuwing kailan kayo lumalabas? Kailan kayo babalik?

I wanted to freeze time that night. Encapsulate the moment. Hold it, cherish it. But all good things come to an end, as Nelly Furtado sang. Arlan leaves tonight. Eric's birthday has passed. And all we have left are our memories. Like a movie that replays in my head, I remember our endless laughter, and hugs, and kisses that night.

 
 
"I'd like to stay here just like this,
It's just a momentary bliss."
---311, "Freezing Time"