Ang Lalaki sa Party

Nagsimulang siyang umindak sa saliw ng musikang bago sa aking pandinig.

"I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good, good night…"

Ang bawat galaw ng kanyang baywang ay tila isang drogang unti-unting kumakain sa akin. Dinadala sa pagkalimot… Nag-aanyayang sabayan ang kanyang pagsayaw…

Subalit wala akong lakas ng loob para siya ay lapitan.

Ngumi-ngiti sya habang sinasabayan ang kanta.

"I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good, good night..."

Lumalabas ang kanyang dimple.

Hindi sya tumitingin sa aking direksyon pero ako'y tila natutunaw na ng kanyang malalalim na mata.

"Kane!" Tinawag siya ng isang kakilala.

"Kane… Kane… Kane…"

Nagpaikot-ikot sa aking utak ang kanyang pangalan.

Mukhang pauwi na siya pero hindi ko pa rin siya nakakusap. Puro blogger ang mga bisita, marahil blogger rin siya. Paano ko kaya siya muling makikita… makakausap…

August noon sa Richmonde hotel.

Natapos na ang kanta, pero sa utak ko'y tuloy-tuloy pa rin ang musika.





Nakita ko ang blog niya pagkatapos ng siyam na buwan.

Kane Sulfur.

Kailangang maglakas-loob.



"You looked for me?"
          "Yes."
"But I wasn't lost."
          "You were lost to me."

When Two Become One

"And the two will become one flesh;
So they are no longer two, but one flesh."
---The Bible




Dear K,

Hello my kismet in a parallel universe ;)

I'm well. I agree, a lot has changed. I've become irrelevant. I am no longer single, I'm living with my boyfriend, and have discovered I'm now irrelevant. I don't know exactly when it happened but now, I'm just part of a whole. Not that I'm unhappy because I'm not - I'm in love and very happy, and very scared at the same time.

I just had an interesting epiphany this past weekend when I ran into an old friend and she immediately asked me, "How are you and Joe?"

Somewhere between just me to being with Joe, friendly hello's stopped getting directed to a singular me. It has become "How are you and Joe? What are you and Joe up to this weekend? Do you guys have plans for the summer? You and Joe should come over for dinner", etc. I'm no longer interesting just by myself and when I'm around other single people, I find that I can't share in the same excitement they're going through and vice versa.

As a result, I've become an outsider to 60% of New Yorkers, and still a newbie to the rest of the 40%, which frankly aren't all that exciting! It's almost like, I have to find new friends who aren't single. When singles need new friends, they have a multitude of choices and communities to meet new people-- match.com, singles.net, cupid.com. All these dot coms are geared towards single people. And it got me thinking, is there a couplesmatch.com out there?

I'm struggling with an identity crisis that I'm quite happy with. I like being a part of a couple, but I still want to be an interesting, singular, me, which makes me think of friends like you... where conversations can revolve around everything and anything other than boys.

So, lately I've been laying low and concentrating on my current project that requires no interaction with other people. My new apartment - it's coming along really well. My theme is photo gallery with a little bit of a French accent here and there :)

How about you? What have you been up to? I'd love for you to come visit again!

Bisou,
Ana