Saturday, October 27, 2001

I feel so confused. It seems like my future is so uncertain. Right now, I have several options. I can look for practicum work here in France for 6 months or more, but I would have to go back first to the Philippines to apply for a new kind of visa. It would be great of course, to see all my friends and family again but it would be expensive. Or I could go and study for another semester in ESSCA Hungary, but the monthly allowance would have to come from my parents. Or I could just go back to the Philippines and look for work there. But recently, I found out that our petition for immigration to the States has been approved. My family is planning to transfer there by June next year or so. My status is not yet sure because I am already past 21 years or age but my uncle is trying to find a way for me.

The big question is: What do I really want? I guess I would have to think hard. Each option has its own bright and not-so-bright aspects. Haayyy.. I really do not know. We shall have to see. Sometimes it can become overwhelming thinking of all these things. But in a way, I am glad. At least I am given options. It does make me wonder, which is more difficult: to have more or less options?

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