Friday, January 22, 2010

E and the Disney Prince

"Jesse: Oh, God, why didn't we exchange phone numbers and stuff? Why didn't we do that?
Celine: Because we were young and stupid.
Jesse: Do you think we still are?
Celine: I guess when you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times.
Jesse: And you can screw it up, you know, misconnect."
---Before Sunset (2004)

For most people, Disney Land means exhilarating rides and fantastic shows, pirates, and mermaids and lions. It is a place where childhood memories come alive but who would have thought childhood fantasies can also come true?

We traveled to the Land of Dimsum Smiles hoping for a lot of sex, drugs and alcohol. We all got the alcohol, some got the sex, none got the drugs.

E went to Disney Land to fulfill a lifelong wish. He came back toting a dancing Disney prince. A one-night stand can turn into an affair and it's not the sex, it's the conversation that matters, we've learned.

What do they talk about? Former boyfriends and girlfriends, music, drugs, Enchanted Kingdom, dimsum, sex, work, family. Nothing spectacular, really. But isn't it the most ordinary things that bind us together, where that moment happens when the person reveals himself, layer by layer, and we see them. We start seeing them.

Watching you E was like watching a film. No, not Disney. More like a Wong Kar-Wai film: plotted mood pieces with melancholy characters. There you were: two people, sensitive, tentative, intoxicated by the fact that their lives stretch out before them, filled with mystery and hope, and maybe love.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Okay Lang

The elevator opened and we got in together.

K: Hey A, kamusta?
A: (smiled thinly) Okay lang.

It took me a moment before I realized what she meant. Okay lang can suggest many things: good, not bad, just okay, so-so. For a while you think that's not very interesting.

But when you really think hard about it, it's on a knife-edge of hope and despair.

Monday, January 04, 2010

A Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy

"Something old, something new
Something borrowed, someone you blew."

For most people, the new year begun on the first of January. But for me, it started in December. December 26, to be exact.

It was 3:30 in the morning. W wanted to meet me after his work ends in a couple of hours.

K: Bro, next time na lang. Antok na kasi ako at matutulog na ako.

W: Hintayin mo na ako please. Libog na libog na ako.

K: Late na kasi ang 5:30.

W: Tawagan na lang kita pagpapunta na ako para magising ka. Okay ba sa iyo?

K: Sige. Kung magising ako, meet tayo.

At around 5:30 a.m., W called to wake me up and say he was on his way. That's when I learned that between being horny and being sleepy, something's gotta give.

We had sex as the sun rose. He worked. I tried to reciprocate and when I was about to cum, I said you either have to cum now or forever hold your peace.

W: Sige lang pare. Ako bahala sa iyo.

Eh ang dali kong kausap. When I woke up, I rushed to have lunch with some friends at the Fort. At around 5 p.m., another guy texted me.

Guy: Fuck kita.

And guess what I said?

K: Asan ka?

God, I'm such an easy girl. What will Mother say?

And that is why I found myself at a place called Bangkal in Makati, worried my car would be stolen any minute. His place was small, dirty, and smelly.

Sa couch pa lang, na ra rape na ako. Half of my clothes were left on the couch, the other half were strewn in the bedroom.

There was no electric fan. By the end of it, naghalo halo na ang aming laway, pawis at tamod.

Oh my God K!!! You're soooo dirty, my friends told me. But dirty sex can be fun, I forgot. Especially if it doesn't happen at your place.

V and I spent the whole day together. I told him all about what I did, who I did, and how I did it. He realized a week of vacation has ended and wala pa ring nangyayari sa kanya. He was still sad about his ex, sexless and joyless.

At 9:48 a.m., I received a text from V at work.

V: I did it. Hayy…

K: Did what?

V: I did a Britney single. Baby, one, two, three …

K: Oh My Fucking God! You did a threesome?

V: Yes baby. I finally tried PlanetRomeo, and you were right. It is the friendliest planet in the world.

From that day on, he was hooked. V now holds the title of the most active member of PlanetRomeo after sending the most number of messages and clicking the most most number of profiles.

V: I'm at the gym now and I saw my first crush sa gym dito. OMG. Na eexcite ako na kinikilig!

K: Then, what you wait, whatchu wait, whatchu waiting for?

V: No! Hindi pa ako ganoon ka pasugod!

K: Ano ba! Gooo say hi, smile. Go.

V: Hayyy… Nakakatense! Sana magawa ko. Parang kaya ko. Ano baaaaaaaaaaaaa! After last night, parang I can do anything.

K: Gooo! Remember, it's not who you did, it's how many you did.

V: And more importantly, how many you did it at the same time

K: OMG tumotodo ka na. "Good girls go bad, the city's full of them."

V: And for 2010, the city has to make room for two.

I remember E once telling me after my breakup that I can still be happy but it may be a different kind of happiness.

K: Honey, I hope you understand what I mean when I say this. I am glad that I think you are finally embracing your being single for the very first time after 16 months.

V: Walang choice eh.

K: Exactly! This is the only option available for us right now, and we can either take it or wallow in our misery. It is not necessarily more meaningful, or the kind that lasts forever, but it is good enough.

V: Yes, it is good enough for now.

So yes, ladies, the word is out. I'm back to my old, single, fun (and yes, occasionally sluttish) self. And my best friend has joined the bandwagon. (Three is not necessarily a crowd, we've discovered.)

We've learned you don't always get to choose the roles you play. Sometimes, you make do with what you are given. We'd really rather be Martha Stewart in her little kitchen and bake cookies for our loving husbands, but for now, we will be like nymphs and dance with fauns and satyrs. The show must, and will, go on. As someone once said. I'm a good old-fashioned lover boy.