Thursday, December 16, 2010

Gossip Girl: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

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Rise and shine, Gossips! Hear those silver bells? It's Christmas time in the city. And in the Upper East Side, it only means two things: gifts and lots of surprises.

We hear this year the Queen is feeling extra generous.

Spotted: Kane doing the nasty with a fatty. What happened to standards K? Wonder what people will say once they find out you've gone chub chasing. Or have you become ... what's the word ... free for all?

 
 
When the leaves start to turn and the breeze becomes chilly, I know it's time for my good deed of the year. Long ago, a wise older gay friend told me to invest in good karma and once a year have sex with any one of the following:

1) Someone ugly
2) Someone fat
3) Someone old
4) Someone all of the above

"We all become one of them someday," he said. "But since you're a pretty little thing, you'll never be ugly. Just fat or old. And when that time comes, may God have mercy on you. You'd be praying some cute boy will still have sex with someone like you."

Does God work that way, I wondered? That He'd trade good fortune in return for sexual favors?



I've always chosen ugly or old. But this year, I was feeling a little adventurous and decided to hook up with someone fat.

Wow, I thought when I saw him. He really is big.

Ron told me he was a little chubby, but that was an understatement. He had twice my mass in all the wrong places, if you know what I mean ladies.

I laid out to him the rules of the play. I am not going to be naked. I am just going to unzip. There will ne no kissing nor foreplay. I won't touch, much less suck his dick. When I finished, I saw a look of quiet defeat settle on his face.

He knew. He understood. My terms or nothing... and since the chances of someone like me having sex with someone like him is close to zero, he took it.

But since the holidays were making me feel warm, fuzzy, and charitable, I offered to let him suck on my cock.

"Sige. Chupain mo na (Go on, suck on it)," I said and closed my eyes.

And he did.

 
 
 
 
 
Happy holidays everyone! Hope you all get the gift you deserve.



XOXO
 
 
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36 comments:

eon said...

i am at a loss for words.

~Carrie~ said...

Wow. That's explosive.

noelle_page said...

OMG K... :P

psytian08 said...

OMG,,,
I Think i need to do one of those GooD karma once a Yr..

Désolé Boy said...

let me be frank and say i thought that was mean.
.
.
well, maybe because i am fat and ugly. but i'm definitely not old. hehehe

Momel said...

You're a good gay boy, Kane. What goes around, comes around. And I still think it's better to give than to receive. Of course, coming from me, that may as well be it's better to give head than to receive head, but that's me, and I'm a gay jerk.

Cheers you generous darling punk. Mabuhay ka Kane! Muahness from Pasig Citehhh!

Ex Jason said...

aww... now aren't you the sweetest thing?

interesting principle by the way. if everything goes as planned, someone will be writing about you years from now.

Guyrony said...

Looks like Santa will give someone a little too much this year...

But then again, you did a nice thing in a naughty way.

Punished or rewarded, Baby K?

drew said...

Hayy fucker ka talaga.

Mu[g]en said...

When I grow old and fat. Mag-aalaga ako ng mga pussies. I'll be an old maid who likes gardening and taking care of his cats.

Wahahahaha!

iurico said...

Wow!

Ayoko manira ng trip but I... I... I'm just at a loss for words.

Happy Holidays, Kane!

orally said...

*Speechless*

red the mod said...

Some time from now, you will look back at this entry. And maybe, hopefully, see it in a different light. But for now, I'd like to keep my words to myself. And invoke my right against self-incrimination.

Hehehehe.

Merry Christmas K!

soltero said...

HAHHA.. personally I do find some chubby guys HOT..yup kaya ok yan saken altho i haven't had a tryst with one ahaha..

kaloy said...

Woah.

PS: I do also hope you got the gift you deserved.

Tristan Tan said...

Kane, I do not know if I should love you or hate for this post. All I know is that this is one gutsy entry. We should talk about this one of these days so I can explain my dilemma. Haha.

Anonymous said...

pleasure in making others feel small. what gift giving you do kane. how the heavens will reward you only the gods know.

esf

Mac Callister said...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yun lang!hahaha

Momel said...

pleasure in making others feel small. what gift giving you do kane. how the heavens will reward you only the gods know.

Now, when you think about it, that guy esf does raise a valid point. And when you do think about it, what he said may have defeated the point of this post. Not to be a wet blanket, Pogi, but shit! You know you're good when you strike a nerve somewhere.

Jedd said...

Yike, sorry Kane! Slipped. First timer.

Anonymous said...

my first boyfriend told me once that in one's lifetime, one should try a little bit of everything.

-geek

M.I. said...

I'm sure you have good intentions Kane. So I'll just keep my feedback to myself.

Advance Merry Christmas!

Kiks said...

me to concierge: pwedeng pakiakyat dito sa flat ko ang baba ko? i think it fell on the ground floor.

Anonymous said...

BRAVO! good deeds are never left unrewarded.. good job kane...

kiel estrella said...

hmmm.

trust kane to put on record what many people think and do but are afraid to say out loud for fear of incrimination. so kudos to your honesty.

but on the other hand (wearing my kuya hat here), did you feel good in giving when with it you have to make somebody feel small (pun intended)?

wanderingcommuter said...

speechless too...

Ryt said...

err... that was mean. :(

Paige said...

oh my god sex karma...this is genius...

C said...

Ahahaha someone's getting a fat tax refund from all his charitable deeds!

Oh whatever happened to tree planting?. =)

Aris said...

merry christmas, kane dear. :)

Yas Jayson said...

Clearly, a work of Christmas (:

Happy Christmas, K!

Anonymous said...

don't know why this is all of a sudden a sore subject ha, especially when most gay guys are critical about appearance. Is it because most people here are fat? Or most people here hate to admit that they're ugly (acceptable --- who wants to admit they're ugly?!). In any case, K you did a fucking good deed by having sex with an ugly, unlovable, fat man. He may be a fucking saint, but he still is a cow by your standards. You're not being mean by giving out your true honest opinion.---Erik Ako

Anonymous said...

At best, contemptuously having sex with someone to collect so-called "karma points" is silly and a striving for effect. At worst, it's mean-spirited.

--Michael

Anonymous said...

Gosh... and these people really think it's charity? Tell me pictures DO LIE! Otherwise... I would really think that the fat guy was really deperate. Oh...some people just think so highly of themselves.

John

Anonymous said...

When leaves start to fall and the wind becomes chilly, you know autumn has come. Admit it, you're OLD, you can't be choosy. Old, fat, ugly... you do them all.

Uhuh... what a way to view the concept of Karma. Bad karma for the fat guy, I guess.

Anonymous said...

If in the future you find yourself in a similar situation as the fat guy, that's Karma.


Chonor