Monday, April 23, 2012

The Damsel, a Mistress?


It was the big night. I was finally going to tell my friends about Jeremy and I was dreading their reactions. We were drinking, catching up and after the usual chit chat, I cleared my throat to begin.

"So, I 'm ... well ... I'm sort of involved with someone," I announced. "His name is J. He's …" I trailed off and shook my head, smiling as I remembered him. I still couldn't believe it.

"He's amazing. He's beautiful, intelligent, passionate, hard working. He's also a blogger. He's tall, and really well-built and … he has a wife and three kids," I said hurrying the last few words.

The room exploded.

"Oh my God! You mean he's married?" Vackie said.

"Oh my God! Go!! Guapo naman pala!" Carlo said.

"Oh my God! Don't tell me querida ka na rin?" Fran said.

But nothing could top Arlan's reaction.

"Honey … ," he slowly said. "Baka lasing ka lang. (Maybe you're just drunk)"

"Gaga! (Fucker!)" I said laughing. "I am not … was not drunk! Grabeeeeeee … I'm so in love," I squealed in delight. "I am."

The room exploded. Again.

"In love na agad?" V said in disbelief.

"Ayyyy! Happy! Finally!" C screamed.

"OMG!!! The L word!" F cried out.

"Honey … sigurado ka ba?" A asked.

After we all quieted down, Vackie proceeded to interrogate me. 

"So what happened to the guy who once said 'I'll never ever ever ever ever ever ever …. ever ever …. ever everrrrrrrrrr go for someone who's in a relationship?'" he asked disapprovingly.

"I know! I know," I admitted. Not so long ago, I did say those words. I had vowed I will never again engage in extra marital affairs. I was, in fact, adamant. How could I ... after what I went through with my ex? I knew all too well the pain it causes and I didn't want to cause that much pain to someone else.

"Kung makapag sermon ka sa akin dati!" V said. "Pina guilty mo ako ng sobrang sobra yun pala ikaw rin!"

"But honey, he's just so fucking amazing. I mean, he gets me," I tried to explain. "He gets my stories, my work. I can talk to him about interest rates, debt restructuring. I can read to him Updike, we can talk poetry …"

"Pero may asawa," V interrupted.

"And he's finishing a degree in econometrics. He's studied in the U.S. He runs his own empire, he's very affluent," I continued.

"Pero may asawa."

"And he's hot. Sobrang guapo! As in!! The kind of guy we've always wanted."

"Pero may asawa."

"Fine! Yes, may asawa siya. And I'm not saying I'll be a mistress forever. But honey, I haven't been this happy in a long time."

It has been awhile. Though I have had encounters with countless men, no one had made my heart race like Jeremy does. Our affinity for each other had grown deeper with every passing week, as we discover common interests and passions in life. We argue and discuss and fight and make up. He is so willful I had to learn to be more patient. He drives me crazy. I had forgotten how it felt like; to feel so much it overwhelms you. 

And maybe … I just want to be selfish for now. Jeremy makes me happy. Sometimes, I wonder why the heavens sent him. A gift or ... a curse? He's almost everything I ever wanted. But the gods can play cruel tricks.

"So when do we meet this mysterious guy of yours?" my friends asked.

"When he comes back sometime before my birthday," I replied. "And oh, I forgot to tell you we're planning a trip. Somewhere I've always wanted," I said grinning.

"Hay ... basta ako, nung sinabi mo pa lang guapo, check na agad!" Carlo said, giving his approval. "Bonus na lang na matalino, masipag. You know me, I'm superficial."

"Hay naku. Ikaw talaga Carlo, pasaway ka! Basta ako ... I'm still studying the morality clause," Vackie said.

"Hahahaha. Morality clause talaga??? Hindi ba puedeng hot okay na?" I said. "Pero God … grabe naloloka ako kay J minsan. Imagine, he once asked me for my bank account."

"Ha? Bakit?" Carlo said.

"He wanted to transfer some money to me raw," I replied. "For our quote unquote ... love nest ... raw."

The room exploded. Again.

"OMG!!!!! Nakakalokaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" everybody screamed at once.

"And take note: dollar account," I added. "So ladies, pop quiz on this lovely summer evening: Is it okay to accept money from your married lover? And, how much … is too much?"

The room exploded. Again.



eon said...

you love the guy, seems like he loves you too, and you both seem happy with each other, so if you ask me how much, however much he will willingly give.

rudeboy said...

Ah, so the plot thickens.

I think I'll wait till it gets a little more glutinous.

john stan said...

oh ruddie, this time i'll be in-charge of the popcorn.

and kane, honey, go for it.

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

have fun Kane! halong kilig at :-( for me reading this...

happy birthday!..


♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ said...

OM. Can't wait where this'll lead.

Eternal Wanderer... said...

JS & Ruddie: drinks are on me! lolz

Nate said...

K, i honestly don't know what to say..

but if it makes you happy right now.. then, go.. :)

Aris said...

kaaane! in love ka rin!!! just go, sweetie. that is what life is all about. loving and living to the fullest! bahala na si batman. :)

Lulu LaBonne said...

So much fun ... it's infectious, thank you xxx

E.R. said...

kakainggit that you have friends that you can confide on things like that. I do have my set of friends, but most of them couldn't relate to what i'm going through right now. See I have the exact dilemma as yours, I too have a "guy-who-comes-from-a-very-very-affluent-family-whom-you-don't-want-to-mess-and-deal-with" and who's "technically" unavailable.

I'm looking forward to reading new posts about this as I may get some enlightenment:D

red the mod said...

Simple lang. Take it as it comes. No frills. You've always lived by the moment, this time put it into practice. :)

joelmcvie said...

Whether you end up happily with J or catatonic in one corner, this event will fuel more entries for "Human, All Too Human."

Oh it's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along, goes the song. But there's just no way to be sure if he's mister right or mister right now. Faced with that, I think it's better to assume there's NO mister right and that EVERYONE's a mister right now.

cHard said...

Kilig mode.. hehehe..

Just take it a day at a time and enjoy each moment K.. We all make our own happiness di ba?

bien said...

How exciting this must be for you!

So, do you abide by the etiquette for mistresses?

Enjoy it while it lasts Kane.

Anonymous said...


Xian Garvida said...

whatever makes you happy, go for it! :) hangsweet naman! :)

the green breaker said...

nakakaloka Kane! ikaw na ang mahaba ang hair!!

The looks and mental swagger make a lethal and inescapable trap. I would die for such perfection... I can't blame you.

How about his true family? His wife? Are they still okay?

Mac Callister said...

i dont know kane im with vackie with this one :-)

pero kung masaya ka magiging msaya na din kami, subukan ko! chos

pero with the bank account?sabog lahat! LOL

Xian Garvida said...

Hi! I have awarded you the Versatile Blogger Award.

Check out my post here:


E said...

i say go for it...its not like he will stay married forever. Him being on the down low is just a phase.

Spiral Prince said...

And maybe … I just want to be selfish for now.

...scratch that last. Replace it with now and forever, amen.


Anonymous said...

Madali nga namang sabihing "And maybe … I just want to be selfish for now" kung wala ka nang natitirang konsensiya at wala ka nang iniintindi sa masaksaktan at niloloko.

Pero ikaw na may alam na may niloloko ang iyong iniibig, dapat makita mo siya sa tunay niyang anyo: isang mapagkunwaring manloloko.

Iyan ba talaga ang nais mong mahalin, dahil ikaw ay "masaya"? Gaano katagal at gaano katotoo ang ganitong pag-ibig?

Ang tagline ng blog na ito ay "Human, all too human," at alam kong ang tinutukoy nito ay ang karupukan ng tao, Pero marami rin namang sitwasyon kung saan nagpamalas ang tao ng katotohanan at kagitingan ang maraming tao sa oras ng kagipitan.

Huwag gamiting panakip-butas ang kahinaan. Kaya mo itong lagpasan.

Anonymous said...

So neither you nor the people who've commented have thought of the woman and children which this relationship hurts. Congratulation, assholes! You live in your fantasy world wherein your pains ans joys are removed from others that you are free to commiserate and celebrate regardless of the people involved.

So that you may know, this guy is a fucking asshole for being a ball-less liar and imposter.