Where Time Stands Still
A year ago, I was a different man.
I was in love and I discovered that what the poets and writers spoke of is true: there is nothing that compares to love. Those were the happiest days of my life.
There were moments when I wanted to freeze time, so that nothing would change anymore, so that our love would last forever.
"Well, honestly, I didn't think I would be happy after what I went through last year," I said "But, surprisingly, I am happy."
"When I was younger, I had fantasies of how I would be like by the time I turn 30. I dreamt of owning an apartment in some strange city in a foreign land. Somewhere like Istanbul or Budapest overlooking the Danube river, perhaps. I thought by this age, I would be in a happy relationship. And guess what? Hahaha. None of it came true," I told her.
Perhaps, that day had come. If last year was about learning to be fearless, this year was about teaching myself to be grateful. And I am. I am incredibly lucky, and I realized despite the hits and misses in my life, I am happy.
Rudeboy once said it may be too much to ask for a life without regrets. That perhaps all we can do is to hope that our joys outweigh our sorrows.
Written on the eve of the 3rd of July, in the Year of the Lord 2012.
The relentless march of time is inescapable. It changes everything; people, relationships, friendships. Sometimes what once was, can never be again. It really is, perhaps, the most formidable enemy of all. But without it, we wouldn't be what we are: human. With all its frailties and tenderness and pathos.
So tomorrow, I'll wake up and wish myself a happy birthday. I will look at myself as if I'm meeting my 32-year old self for the very first time. I'll remember what was, understand what is, and hope for what could be. I'm young, I'm happy, I'm free.