Spit Roast: The Mysterious Lady From The Bukid (Barrio)

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In February this year, the world was stunned when the mysterious lady from the barrio vanished leaving behind only these solemn words "And she lived happily ever after. Alone."

Her millions of fans panicked. Where did she go? Why did she leave?

Rumors were flying around and people were gossiping; did she get depressed over her ex lover? Perhaps she found a new one and eloped with him? Where in the world is she? Nobody knew the answers so I decided to pack my bag and hiked to the countryside to find her.

Lo and behold, I did, and luckily, I was able to persuade her to sit down with me for an interview.



It was my first Spit Roast with Rudeboy that led me to the blog of this writer who spins funny, sometimes touching, and often poignant stories about life in the barrio. As someone who lives and writes about life in the city, her stories were an eye-opener about how different and enchanting gay life can be in the province with their beauty contests, and straight boyfriends, picnics by the river and basketball games.

I backread every single one of her stories. Yep, that's more than two hundred tales she has written since 2007. She writes about lovers and friends, but if you're observant you would notice that this writer rarely reveals herself. We only see her through the eyes of the characters in her stories, and it is through this that we come to get to know her. But always, it is like seeing a lady through a veil.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you … Mandaya Moore.



Why do you blog? When did you open your first blog and how long did you keep it? In one of your entries, you said you closed it because someone revealed your identity.

It started with two journalist-friends who tried to convince me to blog. There were bloggers too. I initially said no because I didn’t know what to blog about.

But the thought of being able to write in literary form again excited me. After days of thinking about it, I gave in. And Mandaya Moore was born in 2006.

I didn't have any audience then. One day, Las Tres Estrallas mentioned me in their blog and linked me. I won the comment of the month contest thrice. Thanks to them, I gained traffic.

Why did you focus on life in the bukid?

I didn’t want to write about my politics or work. Other than those two things, there’s nothing else except my life in the bukid.

What's the story behind your blog name?

Davao Oriental, the bukid is home to the Mandaya tribe.

And? Are you connected to that tribe?

Does fucking a Mandaya man count ba?

Hahaha. I guess it could. So tell us how you closed your first blog.

It was an accident. Kulot’s ex read it, commented and even mentioned my real name. My plan was to delete her comment. I clicked the “delete blog” button, instead. Everything’s lost. No back up files. I don’t write drafts. Now, I do comment moderation.

Lesson learned huh. Why did you blog again? Was it because you wanted to write about your relationship with Kulot?

While Mandaya Moore was on “vacation,” I opened another blog — Maui Pacquiao — just a few posts. But it wasn’t the same as Mandaya’s. Maui had a different set of friends, it was about city life.

While I was Maui Pacquiao, I traveled around Mindanao and wrote about the places I'd been to. Then some friends who didn't know I had a blog started telling me to check Mandaya Moore's blog. A Baguio City-based friend, who's a multiple Palanca winner, wrote a tribute to Mandaya on his blog. He also didn't know I was Mandaya.

That's when I realized people actually read my blog. I had to go back to blogging as Mandaya. So it wasn't because of Kulot.

I became Mandaya Moore - Orlis. I returned to blogging with a hyphen - my way of explaining why I did not write for months. I had gotten married. We went on a honeymoon. We tried to have a baby.

Ahhhhh. What happened? Did you have difficulty conceiving?

I wasn't anatomically prepared.

Oh. That must have been quite a surprise. (Grins) Do you remember the most significant/memorable blog post you've ever read?

That would be from the The Red Horse Gallops. It was about a guy who prepared an anniversary dinner and waited for his lover who never arrived. I think the lover had a motorcycle accident or something like that.

But I've since stopped reading that blog. It is now closed.

What is the most significant/memorable blog post you've ever written?

Two posts in the old blog. “Leche Flan,” which included a recipe on how to cook it.

At that time Kulot and I broke off. It was the day before the town fiesta and there were orders for leche flan. He volunteered to cook it in his mother’s house. As he was leaving, I reminded him of our secret on how to make “melts-in-your-mouth” leche flan. Slow fire and patience. And I thought it was also what our relationship needed.

The other would be “Johnny.” It was about me having a drinking session with our friend Johnny, whose five-day old baby had just died. He cried before me and I was thinking who’s feeling worse: “He losing his five-day old baby or me losing my five-year old relationship with Kulot.”

That “Johnny” post got a comment from the great writer Wilfredo Pascual.

I suppose there are no copies left of those two stories. Do you ever consider writing those stories again?

I rewrote the two blog posts for someone who wanted to show them to a filmmaker. I have the rewritten posts (printed form as my MacBook crashed), but never sent them to that person who requested the copies.

Who are your favorite bloggers and why?

1. Mugen --- I would kill for him. The words, the sentences, the paragraphs -- perfect. His topics vary, yet he is still consistenly good.

2. Buquir --- An underrated writer. More people, not just call center agents, should read him. He's really funny.

3. Rudeboy --- because he is Rudeboy.

4. McVie --- Simply one of the best. Gay writing but not the loud kind. I've been reading him for years. We exchanged links only last year. Suplado sya. Hahahaha!

5. Yes, you Kane. You were one of the bloggers I've read outside my so-called "circle." I'm still not through reading back your past posts.

You and Mugen remind me of a journalism professor of mine in college who said writing is the art of choosing, choosing the right word, sentence, paragraph for a story.

Do you read a lot of blogs? I noticed you rarely comment on others peoples' stories so I was wondering if you read only a few blogs.

I used to comment a lot, but only to the “circle of bloggers” that I read when I started blogging. When fellow blogger Kiks started the “Theorgy,” I began reading blogs outside that “circle.”

My fault, I haven’t been going beyond my links. There are a lot of good writers. I felt like I was being rude not to at least have the courtesy of commenting on their blogs or link them back.

What I don’t usually do is comment on a comment on my blog. For me, it’s like reading a book. The author doesn’t answer back to a marginal note written by the reader. This isn’t interactive. But then again it happened several times— the readers’ comments influencing my decisions in life. I may not comment on the comments, but I do read them, I consider them.

Do your friends from the "bukid" read your blog? How do they feel about it?

They do and they are crazy about it. When I’m not around they share their stories, photos. They even want photo-ops for the blog.

Can you share with us what you do for a living? How old are you?

I would be lying if I tell.

Ahhhh... ever the mysterious one. I have read with great fascination your story with Kulot. How are you both now? Are you friends? Do you see each other / talk to each other? Is he still together with the same girl? Is he married? I read your last story about him, and I really loved it. It was so tender.

Kulot is now somewhere in Northern Luzon. We're friends. He regularly texts to say hi. He calls, too. He's no longer with the “Bilat.” They broke up when Kulot was here last December. The reason - Kulot didn't want to give his mobile phone to the suspecting girlfriend. I, the suspecting ex, believe that Kulot didn't want the girl to know that we were texting.

The Bilat, after graduating from high school, now works for a bakeshop. I have since stopped buying bread from that bakeshop.

Do you still think of him, sometimes? Do you miss what you had? How do you feel now?

I still do. Good thoughts. Happy thoughts. No regrets. I loved the guy. I probably still do love him.

Ahhh... is he the biggest love of your life (so far)?

Yes he is. But for me, the greatest love of all is easy to achieve. Learning to love your self is the greatest love of all. And if by chance…

Are you currently single?

Nope. I’m having a relationship with my DVD player and “pirated” M2M films. HAHAHA!

Well... I am seeing Bimby -- a 20-year bukid boy. He's too cute for the bukid.

How cute?

Like this.

Oooohhhh. Isn't he rather young? (Grins) What attracts you to a man, the sort you look for in a boyfriend and not just a fling?

He should have this parochial feel. I’m tired of dating men (and most of them are gay) who can’t have a conversation without mentioning “post-modern.”

AHAHAHAHA. You're baddddddd...

I like straight men, not straight-acting gay men.
I like construction workers, tambays, adiks, schoolboys, not from the Ateneo but from colleges that have dilapidated buildings.
I love farmers, fishers, bus drivers, even balut vendors.
I love the AFP. I love the NPA. I’m still trying to hook up with an MILF rebel.

How many "meaningful" romantic relationships have you had?

Your “meaningful” is in quotes. Please expound. Hahaha

Well, hahaha. Relationships that mattered, you know. That changed you.

I had one with a businessman (who made me a kept partner because he was married), a law graduate (he still has not passed the bar), a Shell Philippines engineer (also married) and Kulot. Four.

Have you had a relationship with a gay man?

A lot. Loved them. It’s just that I’m more into straight guys now.

Why is that? Do you think a relationship between a gay man and a straight man can last? I'm curious.

I just got tired being a top so I shifted to being a bottom. HAHAHA!

Kane, dahlin, nothing lasts forever.

Hahahaha. Really? You were a top? Uhm... no, you don't have to answer. (Grins)

As your blog description states, you write a lot about life in the province. And I think that is what fascinates most of your readers who are based in the city. You give us a glimpse of how life is in the barrio.

How different is it being gay in the barrio as compared to being gay in the city?

Life is simple in the bukid. No rush, no traffic, no pollution. We gays there can live with our small earnings from cutting hair, rebond, hair stretching, even eyebrow enhancement.

I can go to the palengke (market) without taking a bath. We have drinking sprees outside a sari-sari store. No dressing up, but definitely fully made up.

In the bukid, we don’t have gay-to-gay relationships. It’s a mortal sin. You won’t receive sacrament if you do that. Why do it with another gay guy when there are straight boys?

Hahaha. Well… sex with gay men is different compared to straight men, right?

An ocean of difference. When a straight man fucks you, you can shout “inangkin nya ako” to the world. When you do it with another gay man, you can shout “nag-angkinan kami” to the world.

When you go to the city, do you go clubbing?

Sometimes. When my sushal friends invite me.

What are your favorite cities and why?

Davao City. Inexpensive. Safe. Clean.
Dapitan City-- boys, beach and bitch (me).

Do you think you'll ever live permanently in a city? Or is your barrio home?

The city is not for me. Too crowded. Too Avril Lavine (Complicated). In fact, I want a bahay kubo for a house.

Do you read your old stories? How do they make you feel?

I do. The old posts make me laugh. And the comments make me laugh even louder. They make me realize that, yes, I can write.

Why do you write in Filipino?

Because I can express better in that language. Let's just say that I'm a frustrated literary writer. I want to join Palanca but never had the guts.

Why did you stop writing? Will you write again? When?

The last post wasn't meant to be the last post. I was planning to introduce an “interactive” kind of blogging. The plan was to have the “mahiwagang shorts” go around blogger-friends and readers who can have their photos taken with the shorts and i'll have it posted on the blog. But then something happened.

In February, we discovered that our father was sick with cancer --- stage 4 prostate cancer. The doctor gave him two years to live. So I became busy with a lot of things.

He's doing fine, for now --- thanks to that uber expensive monthly IV shot for his decompressed spine-- where the cancer cells had spread.

Oh... I am sorry to hear that. I can only imagine what you are going through. It is never easy to take care of a loved one.

Funny thing is that despite having been told that his days are numbered, our father still insists he's a victim of “kulam” (witchcraft). We just let him be with his denial.

What do you think will happen to Mandaya Moore? Will she find her happily ever after?

Mandaya Moore will be back.
 
Happy ever after? That would be a long shot. There should be no timeline for happiness – this will be my first line for my comeback blog post.






Thank you Mandaya for sharing your stories with me, with us. I was really surprised you agreed to an interview. I've always had an impression you were rather... aloof. And I have always been curious about you. I think a lot of us are.

As you may know, every guest gets a chance to ask one question. It can be anything in this world.

Mandaya: What's the one thing you hate about blogging?

Hahahahaha. You bad, bad girl. You could have asked me about the joys blogging gives me, but nooooo... you had to pick the opposite.

Whew. This is a rather difficult one, Mandaya. Hate is such a strong word, but there are certain things about blogging that I find a little uncomfortable. I write very personal stories so sometimes I feel weird that some people really begin to know a lot of information about me.

Don't get me wrong. It was my choice to write the kind of stories I write, but the unavoidable consequence is that some people will recognize me and sometimes I'm surprised by the amount of information they know. I guess there are really observant readers out there, and it can be a little frightening.

To be so naked... so exposed? I guess it is something I have to live with.
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Spit Roast: The California Boy

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"He's our California boy, he's unforgettable.
Fine, fresh, fierce
We got it on lock."

We all know him. He's our guilty pleasure. That one blog we're shy to admit we read. Our hot friend has a dirty, dirty mind and a knack for penning exciting and arousing stories for the dirty boy in all of us.

Before there were interactive DVD porn and sex scandals, there was the art of erotic story telling. It usually was very long, and subtle enough to keep you aroused yet always held back just enough to keep you reading until the end. These stories of playful cousins and pizza delivery guys were part of our childhood, igniting our fantasies and dreams.

California boy started writing eight months ago and since then he has attracted more than 170 followers and accumulated almost 12,000 hits on his profile page.

He's the boy du jour, the man who showed us his cock and armpits, and revealed his sexual encounters which his readers lapped greedily. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you ... Soltero.

Why do you blog?  In your first entry, you said "having to express my thoughts and musings about everyday life should be a nice outlet to vent out what's been bursting deep inside of me... this can be my therapy, for seeing a shrink can be quite expensive."

But I can't help but notice you've decided to focus more on your sexual encounters. Why are most of your stories about sex? Why is it important or why do you like to write about them?

I have been reading numerous blogs over the years and I actually had a straight blog that I kept for less than a year. I envied bloggers who were able to share their experiences, their heartaches, their sentiments and their adventures as a gay person to an audience.

I knew that I have a few of my own that are worth sharing to people, so I started blogging again. I wasn't expecting a lot of readers to find my blog, and I told myself that even if only 10 people would read mine and  interact with me through their comments, then that would be enough.

To be honest, I always have the case of ningas cogon - I start a project only to abandon it after a few weeks. I thought I'd be able to blog for a month or two then stop. Here I am now in my eighth month or so, and I have no intentions of stopping ... for now.

I knew that to hold an audience captive, I need to establish what kind of a blogger I want to be, to project. I have a lot of sexual stories that I thought may interest readers, so I concentrated more on that aspect.

Also, I am very much aware that I don't have the competency in writing some bloggers out there possess. So I needed to find that niche for me. I can't compose mind-blowing poetry, I can't write awesome fiction - but what I do know is that I can write literotica, an erotic story out of my experiences that would titillate the imagination of a few.

Well, you certainly did titillate "more" than that. I heard those armpits of yours are now legendary: the stuff dreams are made of. (Grins.)

So, what's the story behind your blog name?

I wish there's really an elaborate story behind my blog name but there's none. I couldn't think of a really good title when I was starting, the first thing that crossed my mind was that, I am still single, I have no boyfriend, voila - use Spanish, so Soltero it is.

Hahaha.

When I started reading some cool blogs, I began thinking how come I didn't think of a much better name, so I thought of adding a word that would rhyme with Soltero. I deal mostly with sex stories, so I thought of sexual innuendos... Soltero - innuendo. Eureka! Soltero's Innuendos it is.

Hehehe. Seriously, I wish I thought of titles like, Comforting Oblivion, Waiting for the Light To Change, Coming Out Of Narnia - some of the few blog titles I really like. But I'm stuck with Soltero's Innuendos. But the title kinda grew on me. Now, I really like it, it has a more personal touch, I think.

And oh, Soltero is also a movie that I watched years ago, I forgot who the actor was. But it was a real sad movie. The lead character, as the title denotes, was single all his life. Matandang Binata, sabi nga sa atin, It was a very sad movie. But a very good one. Can't remember if he was gay, probably not. Hehe

What is the most significant/memorable blog post you've ever read?

I really liked Mugen's post about a scooter bike. What I like about the post was it's simplicity. He talked about the scooter that was given to him by his dad but he rarely used and in the end was just left to rust.

The best thing about the story was that he, the author himself, was unaware of the subliminal messages his story has. It was us, the readers, who realize the scooter symbolizes virility, manliness, that his father was imposing on him. But the realization that his kid was really different came when one day his dad discovered that it was not cared for, and was just left to corrode and rust.

For me, it symbolizes his coming out to his dad even at a young age. Also, in that post, I was able to capture what his true relationship with his father was. I thought the post was poignant.

What is the most significant/memorable blog post you've ever written?

I think it would be "What's Up, Dear Nephew". I guess for me it was my atonement. I did not go into details about what happened but because of his untimely death, I wasn't able to go home and grieve with my family. Again, during his death anniversary, I wasn't there.

Also I have visited Pinas a few times but I seldom got to really bond with him, Of all my nieces and nephews, my older brother's kids are the ones that are not that close to the rest of us. It's hard to explain but it's mainly because of his dad, my older brother. He's got a lot of problems.

Although it wasn't the most commented, I believe that post touched a lot of my readers. Those who commented said they felt the sincerity of the post. I too fought tears when I was writing that. Some found it to be touching and sad, at the same time there's a bit of my playfulness and naughtiness in it, too.

His death became a wakeup call. I suddenly remembered how truly close we were when he was just a kid, even spending nights with me. But when I migrated here in the U.S., I rarely spoke with him. Communication was sparse. Then the guilt and regrets came when the tragedy happened.

Comments from my readers are the reason why I still keep blogging. The moment they stop coming, the moment my readers stop reacting, that will be the signal for me to stop. I can have hundreds and hundreds of followers, but if not one or only a few interacts with me, then my blog posts have not been effective, my blog posts were probably boring.

Who are your favorite bloggers and why?

First one to come to mind is easy - Master Mugen. Not the first blogger I read, but the first one I commented on. I need not explain further, because everybody knows he writes very well. And oh, he can also write literotica you know! Haha ;p

And also, he was the first blogger to follow me. If not for his blog, my blog would be still be an anonymous blog. His readers found mine and the rest is history.

Mandaya Moore & Baklang Maton - I never fail to read their blogs. Both are funny, witty, sexy and at the same time you can sense that both are deep people, their stories may appear light and comical but there's depth to what they write about. And Mandaya makes the best blog titles!

I have always been fascinated with Mandaya's conquests and I swoon everytime he goes into the details of his love affairs. I have learned to love Kulot, Babes in the City, the Soldier and his friends are really wacky.

Sometimes, I wonder, what powers does his Green Sofa have? How would it feel to sleep in that sofa wearing the magic shorts? That I am so curious about. Hehe

Agent Boytoy - RIP. - Heheheh. when he discontinued writing, I died. It was the same feeling I had when I read the last Harry Potter book. I followed his love affair with Cupcake, I enjoyed his stories about his mates. Up until now, I am still hoping he'd come back to write again. Is he still with Cupcake? I wanna know. I wish he reads my blog and answer. Hehehe :P

Bookie's Call Center Confidential has been in my bookmark for years. I frequentlyly visit his site because he never fails to entertain me, I always look forward to reading his Top 10 Hottest Call Center Guys hahahha and he never disappoints with his selection.

It's also fun knowing what really goes on in call centers - the juicy gossips, the intigues ahaha. He is like the Boy Abunda of call centers. His posts are really entertaining, and I think he is one of the best writers around.

There are a few new bloggers that can really write, like Alterjon, and Désolé Boy. Oh, I like Drew's style of writing, too.

How difficult or how easy is it for you to write about your sexual encounters?

It is so easy writing about my sexual encounters. I am sort of an exhibitionist, you know. Haha. Besides all my stories are first hand experiences, I have not written any story that was made up. I tried fabricating a sexual story before so that I would be able to blog one, but I just can't finish it. It appeared so fake.

Do you enjoy reading other writer's erotica stories? Who do you like?

Of course I do! Hehe. The one that I read religiously is Eon's Daredevilry. That dude can write. He writes very explicitly but you won't find it vulgar at all. Of course it does help that he is a really gifted writer. When I grow up, I wanna be like him.

So... I read you have tried topping in sex, but I'm curious if you are open to being a bottom. I mean, if can be fun, or at least that's what I've heard.

I only topped once and as much as possible, I want to limit my sexual escapades to oral sex only. I don't wanna say I won't bottom ever because in the future, I might find someone I really care and love and if he requests that I bottom for him, I probably would try the Versa route hehe...

Hahaha. I hope you will tell us about it. And, being versa is really more fun. Again, based on what I heard, at least. Double your pleasure, double your fun.

I know you have an underwear fetish. How did that start?

I think my fetish started when I shared a two-bedroom apartment with a Canadian dude about 10 years ago in Huntington Beach. I answered an ad, he needed another person to rent the other room in the apartment so I took it. It's a two bedrom, one bath apartment so we share the only restroom. This surfer dude, who by the way is freaking hot, has this habit of leaving his underwear on the floor whenever he takes a shower.

So during times that I use the restroom and sees an underwear on the floor, ummmmm ahahhaa, i check it out and sniff it.

The dude only wears boxers, so I always get high with his undies. He is straight and brings girls all the time, I always hear them having sex, and numerous times I jacked off listening to them LOL

OMG! You sniffer you! Hahahaha. Fucker. Hahaha. I wonder if you ever stole one of his boxers. Anyway, do you have other fetishes?

Six-pack abs turn me on, treasure trails, armpits, straight guys who look like goons, guys who lick their lips and stick their tongue out while talking, VPLs (visible penis lines) ahahahha, and oh, guys who wear their pants or shorts so low with waistbands of their undies showing. That gives me an instant hardon.

Sigh. So I guess you and I can never be... I don't have a six-pack. I don't look like a goon. I'm just a girl standing in front of ... I'm kidding! Hahahaha.

Anyway, you said you don't smoke and drink, and that you run for exercise. Are you health conscious? Are you fit and lean?

Hmmmm. I'm not a health nut, not at all. I don't count my calories, and I don't run marathons. I don't smoke or drink because I just don't enjoy drinking and smoking. It's not for me. I rarely drink, and if I do, it would only be a glass of wine or a bottle of beer, or a few shots of Cuervo. And smoking? Never did!

Sex  (or having my dick sucked ) is my only vice. HAHAHA!

Am I lean and fit? I wish! Haha, but I have kept my weight for 20 years now. I am 165. For my height I think that weight suits me, I was 158 before and I did not look good so I try to maintain that 165.

I don't cook, so I must be straight haha! My fave foods are spaghetti, mixed adobo, chicken curry, and binagoongan.

How are you and your BFF? Are you friends again?

We are absolutely............. not talking. Hahahaha. Yes, he chose to burn the bridges, I guess. I have tried reaching out to him a couple of times. He said he wasn't ready for us to be friends again. The last time he texted was February, he wished me a happy birthday. Last time I texted him was May, his birthday. And yes, he is still my neighbor!

Nanghihinayang lang ako sa pinagsamahan namin, but I am not bitter. I didn't shed a tear for him, nor did I get depressed. I guess I was able to accept our fate rather easily.

I blogged about him recently, when he picked up his package that was delivered to our unit. His reaction when he saw me open the door was priceless. He couldn't seem to look me straight in the eye. I think he has not moved on yet. I can tell.

He didn't even say hello. When he picked up the package he just thanked me and left. Well, I just shrugged it off. I'm not affected anyways. I just feel sad that the months of friendship that we had was just thrown away like that. Oh well...

You came out late as a gay guy. You said you were suppressing it, ignoring it. What finally made you decide to accept you were gay?

I only came out to a few of my closest friends because keeping it all inside was emotionally draining, it was not healthy at all. I knew that I was strange when I was in high school but I did not entertain the thoughts. I led a straight life up until five years ago, when I had my first dick. Hahahaha. If I were still in the Philippines, I would probably be married with kids now. Religion plays a very big role in my decision making. It's really hard to expound on it, if I may I would like not to explain it any further.

Was it by choice that you never had a boyfriend? Was it something you didn't want before?

Again, it's because of my religion. If ever I will have one, it will not be fair to him. We'd both be hiding, and why be in a relationship if you're not gonna be proud of it. So I choose not to have one.

You recently said you are ready for love. What kind of relationship do you want? Do you ever get… lonely?

I just want to have somebody that I can spend some nights with. I wanna be able to cuddle at night, kiss, and do all sorts of nasty stuff. Hahaha.

Sometimes I get tired of those one-night stand encounters. Seriously, we don't have to be boyfriends. We don't have to be in a committed relationship. I just want a steady someone.

Malabo ba? I am scared to be tied down, I am scared of commitments, I just want to be with somebody that knows how to have some fun! At the same time, I wanna be able to do stuff without restrictions.

But how do I say this - I am a very positive person, and I rarely get lonely. I guess that's why even at this age, I look so young (eheheh) because I do not stress over small stuff. I don't let problems get the best of me.

What makes me worry a bit these days is the "GROWING OLD ALONE" thing. It doesn't affect me in a way that it becomes a source of depression. No, not even close. But still, sometimes, I just think about what will happen if I'm old and gray, and beauty has faded (Choz!) bwahahhaha... but nah, I just shrug it off,

When are you coming to the Philippines and who would you like to meet? Are you coming home for Christmas?

Christmas isn't celebrated in the household. Ok, I'm giving away one information there already haha...

If my plans will push through and if work will not hinder me from taking a vacation, I want to go home this December. And I would like to meet everybody (pang Miss Congeniality answer lang Hahaha). Seriously, everybody. Then during the meetup, I will secretly slip notes to those who will catch my attention and schedule a one-on-one meetup.

Bwahahhaha. Tikiman lang naman .... ;P

Oh, baka I'll be going to Europe with my friends instead of visiting Pinas. Niyaya nila kasi ako, pero I'm not sure yet. That all depends in my finances hehe, baka walang budget.

So, who have you met so far and... how was it?

Hmmm haha I won't go into details about the blogger that I met, but yeah, it was JR. We met twice before he left for Oregon. I can only say that we had so much fun (wink wink) on both occasions.

The first time I drove to Northridge (an hour and a half drive) to meet him at a Japanese restaurant (his treat), and I checked out his place for some karaoke LOL. The next, he was gonna visit his brother in OC and in the process, stopped by my place, I took him to Downtown Disney to eat and watch a movie. We really clicked, and we had so much in common. But we are just friends.

Well, that's niceeeeeee.... it's always nice to have friends, right? (Grins.)

So Soltero, we're almost near the end of this fascinating interview. Do you ever worry that it can be difficult to sustain interest in your blog, that people may get tired of hearing sex stories all the time? Do you plan to expand your writing?

I've been receiving lots of comments that although my blog is naughty and have lots of sex stories, they say that what they like abt my blog is the variation of topics. They espcially like the personal, emo stuff that I share in my blog. To borrow from Forrest Gump, it's like a box of chocolates, they'll never know what they're gonna read when they open my blog. Hehee.

To sustain my readership, I guess I will stick to what interests them in reading mg blog and maintain the sincerity of my posts. Probably add here and there posts about topics with relevance like my post about the Gay Pastor. But I won't stray too much frpm the winning formula. I know that what really makes them come back to my blog is reading my sexy stories.

Grabe Kane, I'm so excited!!!! I dreamt about reading this Spit Roast, it's in a magazine and four pages ahahaha!!!

Hahahaha. Talaga? Ang saya naman. Who knows, maybe you will be interviewed for a magazine one day. =)

So Soltero, every guest gets a chance to ask one question. It can be anything in this world. So what is it?

Soltero: In your opinion, what's the real reason readers keeps flocking to my blog? I know that sex sells but lots of blogs also focus on sex and yet do not gain the readership that I have?

You're right S. Sex does sell, but not all sex sells. You know, one time, my friends and I were talking about you, trying to analyze what makes you click.

And I think it is because you write with such childish glee. The way you tell your stories, para kang isang batang tuwang-tuwa. There is a certain innocence and honesty to it that comes across and people are attracted to that. Sometimes I imagine you to be a kid who just discovered gay sex... and in many ways, based on your stories, you really just did.

Plus, you are very friendly to people, you respond to comments and you comment on their stories. Everyone likes a star who is also accessible.

I once told McVie you have mastered the art of popular Pinoy gay blogging: lots of sex interspersed with emo stories. Too much sex, and people feel you're just that, a sex machine. The personal stories make you human.

Awww... nalulungkot rin pala siya. Nahihirapan rin pala siyang mag come out sa pamilya niya.

The sex is great and all but it is these stories that make people fall in love with you. That is how you stole their hearts AND their dicks.

Spit Roast: The Boy With an Open Fly

I am curious by nature; about the world, about people. When I started reading blogs, I always ask myself: who are these people? Why do they write what they write? And, what are the things they don't write?

I decided to start a series of interviews with writers, bloggers, artists, and friends that I will publish here in my blog. The project will be called Spit Roast: spit it out while you roast. It is my hope that by having a dialogue with them, I will learn more about who they are, and who they are not.

And ultimately, every discovery about the other leads us back to the discovery of the self.

Many many months ago, I came across a blog entry about smoking. The writer talked about his memories of cigarettes and how it figured in different episodes of his life.

I liked the way he wrote it so I decided to post this comment.

I love this story. Your style reminds me of Raymond Carver, sparse, quiet, elegant, tender.
"And so I huff. And I puff. Until I blow my house down."

The writer wrote back.

You're very sweet, Kane. Thank you. I don't know about "sparse" but even Raymond Carver once objected to being edited. His story "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love." is something I think we've all done at one point in our lives. Sitting around getting wasted as more truths come out the drunker we get.

But since I am an unwilling teetotaler these days, there is no in vino veritas for me. Only in fumo fantasia.

I was floored. Wow, he actually knows who Raymond Carver is. And the story, "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love". And who uses the word teetotaler, anyway?

My curiosity was piqued. Who is this guy? I became a regular reader of his stories. His style was distinctive,
And there are times when we would exchange banters.

One time, he wrote about Pink and her song Just Like a Pill. I made a comment about his entry.

Around six weeks ago, you said

"Actually, what made me wince and want to burn the damn diary was seeing how angst-ridden I was, and how stupid, and how roundly ignorant of so many things."

So, still angst-ridden after all these years, are we? =) This is my favorite Pink song. I hope things will get better soon. =)

In his reply, he said this:

Ah, you've caught me at a rather vulnerable time ;) No matter how hard we try, there will always be chinks in the armor.

At the risk of pre-empting the follow-up to this post, I will say that while we do change, we do not change completely. I will always have angst: what has changed is what I am angsty about, and how much, and what I do - or do not do - about it.

The same goes for my stupidity and my ignorance. I am wiser in some things, stupider in others, and yet ever-ignorant about many more.

It is a process that goes on until we die. We adapt. We learn. We change, or we perish. Which says volumes about my decade of slow, almost imperceptible, but sure decay.

I answered back.

Hahaha nagulat ako ang haba ng reply mo. And at the risk of sounding like your philosophy teacher, I will say that while we do not change completely, we do change. Some more than others.

Some changes are imperceptible, you barely notice them. What we are angsty about, and no longer angsty about. Wisdom tells us which things really matter most, after all.

And we can only hope as our bodies decay, our minds will glow ever brighter. =)


The first time I left a comment on his blog, he promised me one thing... that he will try not to be boring. And he wasn't.

His writings stretch from a tribute to Alexander McQueen, an analysis of the architectural design of Manila to the occasional critique of religion. He adored the play of words, I told him once, he is a wordsmith.

Whenever I would attend a party hosted by a blogger, I would always ask: is he here? Alas, as I discovered, nobody knows who he is.

I found out he is reclusive and reticent, much like a hermit living in the mountains. So I decided to climb the mountain and look for him. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... Rudeboy.

Why do you blog?

I started blogging almost a year ago because I thought I was going to die and wanted to get my thoughts down.

Really.

I might publish the actual entries that I wrote as I counted down to what I believed then was my impending doom. I had read up enough on the thing to know that I had a three-month window between a hideous death and the possibility of a reprieve.

Or not.

So why are you still blogging until now?

Coz I ain't dead yet?

But now that you're no longer going to die… or at least, I hope death is not imminent

HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, you're dashing the hopes of so many of my foes. bad, BAD boy.

(Grins.) What's the story behind your blog name?

Both components of my blog name were truer at one point than they are now. I was rude, and once upon a time, I was but a boy.

Maturity, unfortunately, may sharpen the wit, but it takes the edge off the cruelty.

Perhaps I should change it to Grumpy Daddy.

What is the most significant/memorable blog post you've ever read?

Easily the one Eternal Wanderer wrote about a friend of his whose mother had just recently died - Memento Mori was the blog post. The friend's poignant words "Wala na si Nanay. Wala na akong masungit na ina." unexpectedly struck me, and I suddenly wanted to cry.

Maybe it was the matter-of-fact delivery of the bereaved friend, which belied the depths of his loss. Or the practical/existential question of who would now tend the lost mother's orchid garden. Or maybe because mothers are the first important people in a child's life and no one ever wants to lose theirs - no matter how nagging, overbearing, controlling, or imperfectly human they might be.

What is the most significant/memorable blog post you've ever written?

To You, By Way Of Pink, because it's the most personal.

That song pretty much said everything about how I feel about ...well, you're a sharp cookie.  And in my moments of despair, that's exactly what I want to do.

Run just as fast I can ... to the middle of nowhere...

You know, that is my favorite entry of yours too. Very raw... and honest. We all wanted to run away, at some point in our lives.

Ah... I think it's a shared human experience, isn't it?

Who are your favorite bloggers and why?

Hahaaaaaaaaa oooooooooooooooooh.

This is gonna burn, innit?

Okay, right off the top of my head, then. And in no particular order - just like a beaucon.

1. citybuoy - I was impressed by the unpretentiousness of his posts, coupled with excellent writing skills. A rare combination, indeed. Also, smart boys have a special appeal for me, and Nyl already knows - or if he doesn't yet, he sure hell knows now - that I would like to fuck his brains out.

2. Eternal Wanderer - Because he is my chat friend and because he is silly. That is all.

3. Mandaya Moore - Insert Current BF's Surname Here - Again, refreshingly candid and devoid of pretense. It was a delight to backread all his entries and the unfolding of the many twists and turns of his personal life was a joyful treat.

4. Joel McVie - Sage and smart and straightforward, but never boring. Occasionally sassy and also has a shallow side, which is also refreshing. Unrelentingly emo blogs get duller faster than a date with a mow-del.

And Joel was also the first blogger to link to mine, so there's that. I'm not totally all sour cream and chives - I can get sentimental, too.

5. Engel - His coming out and coming to terms with all that entails is a work in progress that I follow with great interest.

6. Kane - Siempre kasama ka, and not just because you wrote this Proust Questionnaire. I always read your posts - though I don't always comment - because as I told you once, you are a writer among bloggers.

If it isn't evident by now, I am fascinated by the juxtaposition of elements that at first glance seem at odds with each other. You, for instance, can easily come across as a flighty pretty boy whose interests do not seem to go beyond his chichi friends, the drama of his lovelife, or the importance of eyeshadow.

But it is the depth beneath that glossy surface that continually interests me.

Errr. What eyeshadow? (I hate you Rudeboy. Was that really necessary?)

But seriously, you're making me blush Rudie. Thank you.

More often than not, we do find people who understand us, our stories. But once in a while, you meet someone who understands you in exactly the same way you wanted to be understood. You have said as much, I think, but it is eerie how we are in the same page sometimes.

The people you mentioned will bear closer examination from here on. =) Most, if not all of them, are wildly popular and are well-known for their writing skills.

Your profile doesn't include a contact information. Was this a deliberate choice so people cannot contact you directly except through your blog?

What a sharp cookie you are, indeed.

Yes, I didn't include contact info in my profile because I figured if people had something to say, they could say it in the Comments Section.

Also, I didn't think it was relevant. It's a blog, not a goddamned g4m profile.

And also, as you know by now, I very seldom check my "personal" (read: booty call) email account, and as you also know, I loathe texting even more than I loathe Arroyo.

Errr. Rudie, I think it's now called PlanetRomeo. Just an FYI =)

Why are you reclusive and reticent? Are you open to the idea that people you meet through your blog can become ... well... friends?

Ah there's a question. Which deserves an honest answer.

I have no doubt we'll meet in person, you and I. But in the same manner that, as you observed, I have no contact info in my blog. I'd like to choose who I'd like to meet. It's not that I'm snooty.

You're aware how vicious this community can be. We all love rumors, of course, but it's never fun when one is the subject of chatter, let's admit it. A decade ago I wouldn't have minded in the least. But nowadays, well, life saddles me with other concerns.

Such as seven dogs and one cat =).

Seven dogs now. My cat has gone missing =(

Tough. =(

Yes. But cats are what they are.

Do you smoke less now? That was one of your promises for 2010.

Wow, and I was just thinking of blogging about that in a Mid-Year Report.

Alas, not one of those promises to myself has been kept. Miles have gone and I have slept.

You mentioned before you cannot drink alcohol until this year according to your doctor's advice. Why was that? Are you allowed to drink alcohol now?

Did you backread everyone else's posts? I'm impressed at the journalistic background-checking here, impressed, I say!

I couldn't drink because it was directly related to that potentially life-threatening thing I mentioned above. It just sounds more dramatic than it actually is. It's not like my liver has bailed on me or anything - it was actually something a little more boring and stupid than that, but no less potentially fatal.

As a child, I was brought up never to disobey doctor's orders. Hence, I wish he'd forbidden me to stop smoking as well, but since that had no bearing on the previous threat to my earthly existence, well...

I've since been happily reunited with San Mig Light (or Cerveza Negra), but like an old flame, the reunion was bittersweet. I just can't hold my liquor like I used to. Or maybe it's but part of a larger whole.

I am a partyboy no more.

Why did you choose an Italian car?

Because she's an Alfa and that's reason enough.

And now that I've had my tempestuous and expensive Italian fling, I'm ready for some German lovin'.

I noticed you rarely talk about your relationships in your blog. Do you have a boyfriend?

"A" boyfriend?

Question is: do I want one? Better yet, do I need one? Or one more, as it so happens.

Oooh. That is probably another story.

Based on your tags, you are equally fascinated with shallowness and reflections. =) Why is that?

Again, the juxtaposition of odd elements, which aren't usually commonly perceived to go together. Like brawn and brains. Bloggers and sense. Lady Gaga and taste. And so on.

What do you think is your public image as a blogger? How do you think people see you? And, is that accurate?

I can't honestly say I spend much time thinking about it, although I will admit to a little curiosity as to how readers perceive me via the things I write.

If they think about me at all, I think most readers must think I'm a brooding, opinionated dick. An occasionally reflective dick, but a dick nonetheless. I daresay I've lost a follower or two because of my snide remarks about the Holy Roman Emperor Palpatine or Catholicism in general, or my unsolicited opinions on how doomed to fail some people's quests for "love" are because they can't yet distinguish "love" from "lust", but hey, dem there's the breaks.

Surely you've scanned my comments sections, investigative journo that you are hehe, and I don't get scads of swooning adulation or fawning compliments.

Which is just how I like it. I appreciate being read at all. That people actually take precious time to read my ramblings is a gift and an honor in itself. But getting comments is a special bonus which I do not take lightly. That readers, by and large, respond to whatever blog topics I've written about, and share their own takes on the matter, is rewarding. I enjoy the back-and-forth in the Comments Section, and I do try to reply to each one - except maybe the Chinese spammers, to whom I can only extend a heartfelt piao xi, xie xie.

Based on your stories, you seem like a man weary of life. There's a little bit of tiredness in some of them. Why is that? Are you ... happy?

As for weariness... Well, you know.
 
As for happiness, I'll be happy when I buy that Porsche.





Every guest gets a chance to ask one question.

Rudeboy: Does your biggest fault match your biggest virtue?

Your question assumes too many things; that 1) I actually have faults (grins), and better yet, 2) I actually have virtues (grins wider).

Alas Rudie, as you may have learned, the taming of the shrew can require a lifetime of work. You may have cut the hydra's head only to discover seven more sprouted in its place.

But I'd like to believe that our demons, no matter how complex, can be tamed by the desire to be good. And since I'd like to be good, then perhaps that desire is my greatest virtue. Which can be greater than all my flaws combined.

 Still, there are some monsters that we may have to live with the rest of our lives. Or not.

Who knows, eh?