Memory is fleeting. And so we try to capture the past and the present. A face in a crowd, the light of the moon. Things one cannot hold on to.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
The Lonely Little Boy From Denmark
DV: I want to be happy.
K: Don't we all?
DV: I want to be happy.
He was a little drunk when we met. DV was at a corner of the room, dancing with his friends. He was around 5 feet 7 inches tall, lean, chinito.
K: Honey, cute ba siya?
V: Yeah, boyish cute. Mga type mo.
DV lives in Denmark and was in town for a long vacation. We exchanged numbers and agreed to have dinner Monday night.
K: So, tuloy ba tayo dinner mamya?
DV: Why do you want to see me?
K: DV, relax. It's just dinner. It's not like I'm asking you to marry me.
We went to one of my favorite restaurants in the city. The kare-kare lamb and tinapa Chilean seabass were excellent and we tried a bottle of Chardonnay created by designer Christian Audigier in collaboration with the Montpeyroux Estates in France.
DV is a visual merchandiser for a European clothing chain. We spoke of his work, his family and then our conversation drifted to his ex. I learned he is still sad because of his break-up with his ex.
DV: Naalala mo ba yung sinabi ko sa iyo when we met?
K: Which one?
DV: That I want to be happy.
K: Ah. Oo. Nagulat nga ako eh.
DV: Para nga akong tanga, every time may nakikipagkilala sa akin or nakikipagkilala ako, I always say "I want to be happy. Can you make me happy?"
K: So kelan kayo naghiwalay?
I nearly choked on my food. 2004?????? That's six years now; an awfully long time. It's not that I don't understand him. Everything he said resonated in me.
DV: "He was the most beautiful thing that happened to me. He was perfect and I was so happy."
How well I know those words. I have seen people take more than a year, two or even three years to heal from a break-up but six years is still quite a shocker.
DV: I was hoping to see him pag-uwi ko. Akala ko uuwi rin siya from Singapore for Christmas. Pumunta pa nga ako sa bahay nila. Hindi ako bumaba, tiningnan ko lang ang bahay niya.
He never got into a relationship after his break-up.
DV: Hindi nga ako nakikipag date eh.
K: So you don't go out with guys you meet here?
DV: Para saan pa? To fall in love eh aalis na rin ako. Eh hindi naman ako nakikipag one-night stand.
Okay, I said to myself. That means no sex tonight ladies.
While driving home, I decided to open the windows to let the cool breeze in. I realized my hair was growing longer and it kept falling into my eyes, blocking my view.
K: Nakakainis. Ang haba na ng buhok ko. Ang gulo gulo na.
DV: Hindi nga eh. Bagay nga sa iyo. Ang guapo mo.
I sat quietly and pretended not to have heard him.
"I'll never love again, oh boy, you've left me speechless," Lady GaGa crooned in the car stereo.
We parked outside his place, talked for a bit more. As I was saying goodbye, he tilted his head sideways, pointed to his cheek, smiled and said "O, kiss muna."
I leaned forward and he suddenly moved his head such that our lips met. His mouth was warm and inviting. I hugged him tightly.
K: Hmmmm, you smell so good.
I realized I missed cuddling. I miss quiet dinners, the feel of a hand in my hand.
When I got home, I received a text from him.
DV: Mr. Reporter, thank you. Thank you for making me happy.
"But I'm a loser in love baby
So raise a glass to mend all the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends."
---Lady GaGa, "Speechless"
I like stories. Whether they're of random strangers or close friends, people's stories hold me spellbound.
Every story leads us to an insight: Who are we? Why do we do the things we do? Why are we here, and not there?
Email me: email@example.com
Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress Susan Jane Gilman
In her memoir, Susan Jane talked about growing up uncool as a white kid in a tough Puerto Rican neighborhood, dreaming to be a ballerina, chasing after rock stars, having sex for the very first time.
She brings us back to the best (and the worst) parts of our childhood and our youth, helping us realize things are never as good (or as bad) as we remember them to be.
For Emma, Forever Ago Bon Hiver
Justin Veron, also known as Bon Iver, spent four months alone in a log cabin in the mountains of Wisconsin after the break-up of his band, DeYarmond Edison in 2006.
"The name refers to someone in my past, and it's not her real name," Veron said in an interview about the title of his album. "The dedication is not just to her, it's about the end of an entire era. The entire context of my life at that time was tied to this person, and this record is a way for me to flee from this thing."
For Emma captures the sound of broken and quiet isolation, wraps it in a beautiful package, and delivers it to your door with a beating, bruised heart.