Thursday, March 04, 2010

The Lonely Little Boy From Denmark


DV: I want to be happy.
K: Don't we all?
DV: I want to be happy.


He was a little drunk when we met. DV was at a corner of the room, dancing with his friends. He was around 5 feet 7 inches tall, lean, chinito.

K: Honey, cute ba siya?
V: Yeah, boyish cute. Mga type mo.

DV lives in Denmark and was in town for a long vacation. We exchanged numbers and agreed to have dinner Monday night.

K: So, tuloy ba tayo dinner mamya?
DV: Why do you want to see me?
K: DV, relax. It's just dinner. It's not like I'm asking you to marry me.

We went to one of my favorite restaurants in the city. The kare-kare lamb and tinapa Chilean seabass were excellent and we tried a bottle of Chardonnay created by designer Christian Audigier in collaboration with the Montpeyroux Estates in France.

DV is a visual merchandiser for a European clothing chain. We spoke of his work, his family and then our conversation drifted to his ex. I learned he is still sad because of his break-up with his ex.

DV: Naalala mo ba yung sinabi ko sa iyo when we met?
K: Which one?
DV: That I want to be happy.
K: Ah. Oo. Nagulat nga ako eh.
DV: Para nga akong tanga, every time may nakikipagkilala sa akin or nakikipagkilala ako, I always say "I want to be happy. Can you make me happy?"
K: So kelan kayo naghiwalay?
DV: 2004

I nearly choked on my food. 2004?????? That's six years now; an awfully long time. It's not that I don't understand him. Everything he said resonated in me.

DV: "He was the most beautiful thing that happened to me. He was perfect and I was so happy."

How well I know those words. I have seen people take more than a year, two or even three years to heal from a break-up but six years is still quite a shocker.

DV: I was hoping to see him pag-uwi ko. Akala ko uuwi rin siya from Singapore for Christmas. Pumunta pa nga ako sa bahay nila. Hindi ako bumaba, tiningnan ko lang ang bahay niya.

He never got into a relationship after his break-up.

DV: Hindi nga ako nakikipag date eh.
K: So you don't go out with guys you meet here?
DV: Para saan pa? To fall in love eh aalis na rin ako. Eh hindi naman ako nakikipag one-night stand.

Okay, I said to myself. That means no sex tonight ladies.

While driving home, I decided to open the windows to let the cool breeze in. I realized my hair was growing longer and it kept falling into my eyes, blocking my view.


K: Nakakainis. Ang haba na ng buhok ko. Ang gulo gulo na.
DV: Hindi nga eh. Bagay nga sa iyo. Ang guapo mo.

I sat quietly and pretended not to have heard him.
"I'll never love again, oh boy, you've left me speechless," Lady GaGa crooned in the car stereo.

We parked outside his place, talked for a bit more. As I was saying goodbye, he tilted his head sideways, pointed to his cheek, smiled and said "O, kiss muna."

I leaned forward and he suddenly moved his head such that our lips met. His mouth was warm and inviting. I hugged him tightly.

K: Hmmmm, you smell so good.

I realized I missed cuddling. I miss quiet dinners, the feel of a hand in my hand.

When I got home, I received a text from him.

DV: Mr. Reporter, thank you. Thank you for making me happy.

"But I'm a loser in love baby
So raise a glass to mend all the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends."

---Lady GaGa, "Speechless"

14 comments:

Galen said...

Bittersweet.

I wonder dear, if we'll ever recover from our recent breakup.

rudeboy said...

*drops bottle of Ed Hardy Chardonnay, watching it shatter into a million pieces on the floor in slow-motion*

Aris said...

kane, may kurot ito. napag-isip tuloy ako, ok na kaya talaga ako sa mga naging break-ups ko o parang sugat lang ito na hilom na sa ibabaw pero sariwa pa rin sa loob. may mga instances din kasi na kapag nalalasing ako, i talk about my exes at naiiyak ako. *sigh*

dabo said...

ohhh kainis ang twisted. nakakasad.. =(

Mike said...

sigh... yun lang ang maico-comment ko, K. :(

kiel estrella said...

attracted ka kaya sa kanya because he is unavailable? like you? 2-cent psychology na naman. hahaha

balqui said...

I realized I missed cuddling. I miss quiet dinners, the feel of a hand in my hand. <-- :)

engel said...

maybe another time.

at least for that evening, you made him happy. =)

♥nova-san said...

It's sad how humans close their own door to happiness, choosing instead to pine away for a lost love. I did it myself. I was hopelessly in love with someone for EIGHT years, and I had slammed the door on many faces and potential relationships. But at least DV gave into that one moment with you, however fleeting. Hopefully for him that little moment of happiness he felt with you will wake him up to what he's been missing.

Meanwhile for you, I hope you can find someone who is emotionally available.

ʎonqʎʇıɔ said...

how odd. broken people are so enticing.

i thing speechless is the best song in fame monster. it reminds me of the late great freddie mercury. sakto lang siya sa situation ni DV.

Kane said...

@Galen: Of course! I realized people have to want it, we have to help ourselves. =)

@rudeboy: I hate you. You know my tricks, each one of them.

@Aris: Hayyy.... Siguro minsan hindi natin hinaharap kaya hindi siya gumagaling.

@dabo, Mike: Sigh.

@kiel: Hahaha. My favorite shrink, as always. May sagot ako diyan pero hindi ko pa naisusulat.

@balqui: =)

@engel: And apparently, on another night too. =)

@nova-san: I understand exactly what you mean. I had a talk with one of my friends and this is what frustrates her the most, the inability of people to go beyond the pain.

@citybuoy: i think it is because they have pain, and that creates substance, changes form. =)

I agree. I love that song, it's beautiful.

Anonymous said...

"...ito ang nagpaparealize sa atin na tao lang tayo. Happiness can mean different things... maaring ang kaligayahan para sa iyo ay hindi kaligayahan para sa kanya. Pero ano nga ba ang magpapasaya sa atin, alam mo ba kung ano ang gusto mo?"

"...taas ang kamay ko kay DV, totoo siya! At least kilala niya ang sarili niya. Madali ang magmahal pero hindi ang pagkalimot dito. Kaya nga naimbento ang moving on..."

"...madaling sabihin "nagmove on na ako" o kaya naman "may bago na ako" pero ano ba talaga ang totoo sa loob mo. Bakit tayo takot sa mga ex ng mga partner o naging partner natin. Ang moving on ba ay iniisip o nararadaman."

"...kaya nga ang tanong hanggang saan mo kayang magmahal."


"...kay DV its ok to feel all pain and sadness diyan sa puso mo. Pero suggestion lang, imbes na mag focus ka sa iyong pag alis, bakit hindi ka magpakahulog baka makakita ka ng dahilan na magpapastay sa iyo dito."

"...K, yan ang prob sa fame, fame fame your on your way sa love, love, love. Just believe, minsan di natin alam na maraming sopresa na nakahanda sa atin ang mundo baka isa lang ito sa napakaraming darating sa iyo."

= ]

Von_Draye said...

to move on easily is get used to it;easily...
maybe im lucky that my heart been hurt dozen and more times already...

im already used to getting hurt, and just like any other video game, for your next love battle

says...

"fight!"

Dhon said...

sad naman..
but i admire him for being honest about himself.. it takes a real man to admit that.. but then again.. too much honesty about being sad is just depressing...

:)

I will be following yuour blog from now on! :)

xx
dhon