The Way We Were

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Note: Please play the video at the end before reading the story.



The moment Albert stepped inside the club, people stopped and stared. Guys paused midway their conversations, their whirling, dancing, drinking and crotch grabbing to steal casual glances at him. And then slowly look at me.

Why, you might ask. Because I was leading him by the hand which was, I suppose, a not so subtle way of saying "Back off ladies, the boy is mine." Except ... he wasn't really mine.

It was Albert's first time in the club. Which meant he was a fresh face.

"Don't you just love fresh meat?" I said.

"I know," Arlan replied. "They're just so … "

"Fresh?" I said, and we both laughed.



Albert and I dated a few years ago. We haven't seen each other in a while but we kept in touch through the years. He and his boyfriend had a huge fight and that was why he was out tonight.

"Actually Kane, andoon kasi boyfriend ko. Inaway niya ako para makalabas siya (my boyfriend's there. We had a fight just so he could go out)," Albert told me. He was hesitating to join us.

"Come on. You don't have to worry. Hindi naman kita pababayaan. (I'll take care of you)."

After a while, the inevitable happened. They saw each other and froze. When Albert introduced us, I could see the boyfriend was taken aback that Albert was out, and more importantly, that his boyfriend was out with us.



"I bet your boyfriend was shocked to see you earlier," I said. We were at home with my friends who decided to continue the party, and Albert opted to join us.

"Yeah. Akala niya siya lang ang marunong (He thought only he could play the game)," he replied.

I plopped down beside him on the bed. Tell me about him, I commanded.

Albert and his boyfriend have been together for about a year. He had recently found out his lover was cheating on him.

"Did you confront him?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"What did he say?"

"He said 'Ganito na talaga ako (This is how I am). Tanggapin mo na lang'."

I listened intently to Albert's stories. His voice was hushed, sad; can't stay, can't leave. Stuck. Fuck, he says. Why? He asks. Why am I not enough?



"Ikaw, kamusta ka (how are you)?" Albert asked.  "It seems like you're still the boy I first met," he said, giving me a crooked smile.

I shook my head. "Nahhh … I've gotten old Albert. I'm no longer the same boy."

"Do you still remember when we first met?" he suddenly asked.



Four years ago …

I was at a party hosted by a friend on a penthouse overlooking the glitzy city of Makati. I was out on the terrace, holding a glass of Merlot, admiring the skyline when I turned and bumped into a stranger. I spilled my drink and some of its contents were now causing stains on the guy's jeans

"Oh fuck. I'm sorry, pasensya," I said, embarrassed at my clumsiness.

"It's okay," he said. I looked up and saw that, the stranger was well, cute.

He had an accent which marked him as someone not from Manila. It was adorable. We found out we both actually hailed from the same province; that he had arrived in the city only recently. He and his friends were about to leave when he suddenly whispered text me, and surreptitiously gave me his number.



Present …

"I still remember ...  diba diyan tayo nag sex (wasn't that where we fucked)?" Albert said and suddenly, one by one pointed out certain spots in the room.

"Oh my God! Gago ka. You remember?" I said, astounded.

"Nakakainis ka nga eh," I said. "You didn't even suck me then."

"Hayaan mo na," he said. "Alam mo naman, bago pa lang ako noon and marami pang issues. (You know I was just new then in the scene and still had a lot of issues.)"

"But if you want … you can fuck me now," Albert added.

"Whaaaaat? Tang-ina mo. Gago ka. (You fucking piece of shit.) You wouldn't even put my dick in your mouth before and now you let guys fuck you. Nakakainis ka!"

I pretended to be miffed. "Come on, don't be upset na," he said. "Let's set a date so you can fuck me."

"You never got to keep your promise. You told me I'd be the first," I told him. Once, in the middle of our cuddling, he promised me I would be his first. But not all promises are kept.

"I know Kane. Some things just happen."



After a while, he bid me goodbye. I walked him out the door.

"Uy, salamat ha. (Hey, thanks a lot.) It was really good to see you again," he said.

I took his hand and squeezed it.

"You know … I really did like you," I slowly said, and smiled wistfully. He looked at me and nodded.

"I really did like you too," Albert answered in a quiet voice. "Perhaps, if we had met at a different time … "

So there we were. The years have passed but our pasts continue to haunt us. We were young, eager lads; now one's an unhappy husband, the other a gallivanting man around town. It seems the love we were looking for had somehow eluded us and all that we have right now is this tender thing; a memory of who we used to be ... and perhaps it is enough.

I hugged him tightly. "Goodbye, Albert," I whispered. He turned to leave. I stared at his back until his image slowly faded away.

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