Memory is fleeting. And so we try to capture the past and the present. A face in a crowd, the light of the moon. Things one cannot hold on to.
Friday, September 04, 2009
A Scandal to Remember
Hey Upper East Siders! Once in a while, a piece of gossip comes along, so juicy it explodes into a scandal. And have I got one for you.
So what's the difference between a gossip and a scandal? Anyone can commit a minor offense and generate a day's worth of gossip. But in order to birth a true scandal, it requires the right person to be at the wrong place. Or in this case, two people at the right place at the same time.
Take one It Girl, put her on a pedestal, add a crowd waiting to see her fall, and then watch as the fireworks happen.
Spotted: K and M at a showdown at the Blackout party last Saturday. We heard drinks were spilled, shouts were heard, someone went home, and someone broke down.
M and I had been talking to each other last week. Our conversations were cheery, reminiscent of our happier times together. We spoke of how we both didn't want to return our things yet to each other because that would mean tapos na tapos na talaga kami. I told him I still believe we would be back together someday. He said he misses our talks.
M told me he would be at the Blackout party last Saturday, the same party I was going to. He told me he will be with someone and he might do drugs.
I got so upset he planned to take drugs. I told him I appreciate that he told me about it given that we were no longer together, but I guess that was just not how I knew him.
M: K, I was very different when I was with you. I wanted to show you my best.
K: And you did. And I loved every bit of it. But you said it yourself. You were very different. Well, I guess the old M is back, and I'm not very happy to see him.
Last Friday, I texted him and told him this.
K: M, I have been doing a lot of thinking and I want you to know not to worry about Saturday night. I want you to enjoy and be happy. I'm also thinking maybe it's time for us to return each other's things. I want this to be as easy as possible for both of us. I want you to be happy. Don't worry about me, I'm okay.
M didn't reply and didn't answer my calls. I was so worried why he was not talking to me, I couldn't understand why he was avoiding me. I had thought I made myself very clear and wrote the text in the nicest possible way. I wanted us to be good friends.
The big night finally arrived. It would be the first time M and I would see each other in seven weeks.
I saw him the moment we arrived. I was battling with myself whether to approach him or not. I danced, drank, and chatted with the various friends I saw at the event. Two hours had passed and we haven’t spoken.
Fate finally intervened.
While walking around, we accidentally bumped into each other. Just like that. I was shocked. He was too. I tried to talk to him, but he didn't want to. I went after him when all of a sudden, the guy he was with suddenly barged in and started telling me to leave M alone.
Needless to say, I was shocked (again). My eyes never left M, I didn't speak to his guy and I didn't look at him. I never acknowledged his presence because from my point of view he wasn't involved in our problem.
What M does with the other serfs in the village is his business. But when he brings his new maiden to court, and the maiden attacks the Queen, it's a declaration of war. Sound the trumpets!
Eventually, M's friend intervened and we spoke. M was very angry. I only remember two things he said. He kept repeating I don't like you anymore, I don't like you anymore. I told him in a quiet voice that I thought we were twin flames (the name we call each other). He said, no, we're not.
He left. I cried my heart out. And then I went back inside, and went back to partying. The night passed in a blur.
A day later, I learned M thought I spilled my drink on him. I was shocked (again). I texted him to tell him I didn't do it, I told him I swear by God I would never do something like that.
I texted him several times, I told him how I couldn't understand why he was so angry. I told him I was reaching out to him, with open arms and a bowed head. I told him it's important for me that we remain friends, na mahalaga sa akin ang aming pinagsamahan.
He told me I was the one who made a scene. He told me kung ano mang naging atraso niya, sana nakabawi na ako.
I was shocked (again). I couldn't believe what he just said. Is this the kind of person he thought I was? I told him I just wanted to talk. And that I hope he knows I'm not the kind of person na bumabawi. I told him hirap na hirap na ako. I told him sana maawa siya.
I never heard from him again.
So this is how a royal break-up happens. Hearts are broken, dreams are destroyed. It is painful to realize certain truths about your lover, and your image of him slowly changes.
I realized M is not compassionate. He is a coward, and he refuses to take responsibility for his actions. Nagmakaawa na ako, but he didn't respond. It was the humane thing to do, my friend said. I know. I would never do that to someone else.
We must choose our lovers well, I learned. Sometimes, their worst traits may be hidden so deep down, but when it does surface, all hell breaks loose.
One good scandal deserves another. Wonder who's going down next? Everybody, if K has any say in it.
I like stories. Whether they're of random strangers or close friends, people's stories hold me spellbound.
Every story leads us to an insight: Who are we? Why do we do the things we do? Why are we here, and not there?
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