Wednesday, October 13, 2010

It Matters Now


I was falling asleep when my phone rang.

"Hey Nic, what's up?" I said in a drowsy voice.

I couldn't hear anything until I suddenly realized he was crying.

"O, are you okay? What happened?"

"Jack and I broke up."

He was sobbing.

"I didn't know who else I can call. Patulog ka na ba? (Are you about to sleep?)" Nic said. "Gusto ko lang umiyak. (I just want to cry.)"

"No… it's okay Nic. Sige lang. Iiyak mo lang. (Just cry it out.)"

Nic and Jack have been together for four years. They shared many happy memories, like most couples do. They were having problems but the one that broke the last thread was when Nic found out Jack was in love… with someone else.

"Wala na akong magawa Kane eh. (I can't do anything Kane.) He's in love with someone else."


When relationships fail, we often look for someone or something to blame. We often say, that bitch stole my boyfriend and we insist our lovers still love us.

But I've learned that sometimes, the simplest reason is the one that's the most difficult to accept.

He fell out of love with me. There… you have it.

Nic and Jack had planned to go on a trip to Kuala Lumpur and Singapore before they broke up. They still decided to go… as friends now.

"How was it?" I asked Nic last night at the gym.

"It was okay, fun fun. I guess travelling has always been our thing, you know."

"Ahhh… you're right. Your 'couple' thing," I replied and smiled.

"I only got sad when we were about to go home from the airport," Nic said, "I guess I knew what that meant."


"During the trip, I could still pretend we were together. A part of me wished the vacation didn't have to end."

I looked at him and told him I understood… all too well, perhaps. There are certain bridges we don't want to cross. Sometimes the grass at the other side of the fence is not greener.

To lighten things up, I playfully punched him in his tummy.

"O, what's this?" I teased him.

"Asus. Hayaan mo na iyan. (Oh just let it be.)"

"Oh honey, you forget. You are no longer married. It matters now."

"Ayyy… PAK!" Nic said and we both laughed.

I was walking home and humming a tune when Nic texted.

"You were right. Being fat matters now that I'm single."


anteros' dominion said...

yes, it's true..being fat when someone's single really matters

E said...

being in a relationship is not a reason to be fat, remember there are size zero vultures roaming around, you know this K, we're that vultures LOLZ

Joms said...

I'm just curious K, what is a size zero? Lol

canonista said...

May kurot akong naramdaman sa post na ito.


red the mod said...

Because, after all, life must go on. And to do so, one has to reclaim who he is.

callboi said...

I've been fat and single for such a long time that I've learned not to blame my singlehood on my, um, prodigious physique (though deep inside, feeling ko siya nga ang root cause ahekhekhek). Love this post. Sad siya pero like ko. =)

Désolé Boy said...

It matters. But not only so you can attract potential "careers" but simply because you want to feel beautiful about yourself =)

engel said...

it's sad to say, but you're right.

ʎonqʎʇıɔ said...

sa dinami dami ng gusto kong sabihin, nawala lahat dahil sa fat comments. hahaha

but srsly, tamaan na ako ng kidlat ng generic comments police, i loved this post. :)

Nimmy said...

napatingin naman ako bigla sa salamin.

"cute pa rin."


john said...

fat. for me, oks lang ang chubs : D

Momel said...

God, four years all gone to shit because somebody fell out of love. That's fucking serious, irreversible, and altogether hopeless. What redemption is there when you can't point fingers and blame? Aw, that's just sad, and I wish none of that happens to any of you here.

rudeboy said...

Four years.

I wouldn't say they were wasted.

Some people stay together far longer than they should - long after love has left.

The real waste is when one stays in a loveless relationship.

orally said...

here's hoping nic finds a new lover/boyfriend/partner/whatever's the politically correct term at the moment.

Manech said...

Well, I still want to go to the gym. :)

And though it is a bit difficult, I agree with Rudeboy. It'd be a sad, sad thing to live in a make pretend.

Mac Callister said...

its a sad moment, when the person u love for many years fell out of love...bakit kasi may ganun pa...


pero bilib ako sa friend mo, he could still manage to be with his ex and be friends...

kung ako yan,not at this time perhaps...

~Carrie~ said...

naluha ako ng slight sa sinulat mo, Kane

Cio said...

Pinaka malungkot na entry so far in months.

pero naisip ko ay bakit may mga magaganda ang katawan pero loveless din?

Guyrony said...

How all of us would live to see the day that we're all in the world we had always dreamed.

Alas, that is not the rule of the world, of our world, that is not the rule of the size zeros.

Looking back, you will never have the right moment nor the perfect time to say: I fell out of love. Sorry.

c - e - i - b - o - h said...

sad story. maybe none of his expectations that after 4 years, they'll end up separated as a couple.

But I guess, aside from the tummy that matters (which is so true) is the fact that your friend realized there are things he needs to do for himself..

kiel estrella said...

for me, it's not so much as being fat or thin but feeling good about yourself that it shines through. then others (including mating potentials) will feel good about you.

or so they say.

what do i know? i've been 'coupled' so long i don't know what it's like to be single anymore

E said...

" rudeboy said...
Four years.

I wouldn't say they were wasted.

Some people stay together far longer than they should - long after love has left.

The real waste is when one stays in a loveless relationship.

October 13, 2010 8:37 AM" <----Very well said @ RUDEBOY, in those four years, they were happy and both thought it would never end--I believe it was a magical four years and it was worth it. SO move on to the next! for now, Kiss a bunch of frogs before saying "i do" to prince charming. And before I forget, Belated Happy Birthday Nic! LOLZ as for being fat---take it from the former 200lbs. You can lose the fats if you want to! :-)

Heather said...

Ha! That's so cute.
I hope your friend is okay now. You're lovely

Madame DeFarge said...

Such a sad post in many ways. but brave of them to do the friends thing. I never could. Maybe because I was always too fat.

M. said...

your right. realizing that someone fell out of love with you it what brings on that 'heart in your stomach' feeling.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure Nick will move on... - nyl

Anonymous said...

hmmm this one's close to heart=)

Anonymous said...

this strikes too close to home. im good friends with my ex, i see him on a regular basis, but i can see he's happier single.