"So this is it. You're off on your trip," V said while I was packing my clothes. I was running late for my flight and was hastily grabbing things from my closet.
"It's just going to be for a while," I replied. "So which pair of shades should I bring: this one or this?" V pointed to the purple-colored pair of shades. "Christian, of course." He lighted a cigarette and puffed.
I put it on and looked at myself in the mirror. I tilted my head sideways. It does look good on me.
"Besides V, I need some time to think. It's been a crazy year no? I haven't exactly been on my best behavior and people have noticed. And what's worse, some of them are actually upset. Whew."
"You haven't been exactly discrete about it, but come on. It doesn't matter. These people don't really know you," V replied. "But yeah, so much for honesty in writing. Turns out not everyone can handle the truth."
"I know! You know, ang tanda ko na (I am old) and at my age I still get surprised how judgmental people can get. Do they even know the whole story?" I said. I was referring to the story about Ron. That elicited reactions from a lot of people. Many got angry and some of their comments were craftily written attacks against me.
"Do they know that Ron has been badgering me to meet and have sex, and when I finally did, I'm still the bad guy. It's not like I forced him, more like I forced myself. And he obviously enjoyed it since he's been pestering me to meet again."
"Well, people will be people. And what you said stirred insecurities and forced everyone to acknowledge that the world is not fair. Yes, we all act nice to each other and act like we're all equals but we're not. Some of us are more beautiful than others. That's just the way it is."
I stopped folding my shirts and looked at V. "Really? Is that the way it is?"
"Honey, since we were little girls we both knew that. And so we learned to work with what God has given us. We may not be the most good looking people on the planet, fuck, not even in Manila, but we learned to work with our markets. We know eaxctly who we can get and who we can't."
I smiled mischievously at V. “Who we can’t?”
“Well, you are a special case. What can I say? You like pushing boundaries,” he replied.
“Hahahaha. Gago (Fucker).”
“You know, I wanted to comment on that entry of yours.”
“And what were you going to say?” I said.
“Of all people, I should be the one who should be upset. My best friend just had sex with a fatty!!!!”
We both started laughing uncontrollably.
“Gaga ka talaga (You’re such an ass). If you do that, everyone will think we’re mean girls,” I said.
“Oh wow, talk about being mean. Just look at what some of them said in your blog,” V replied.
"But that's the thing. Sometimes I think … my public image … what's that exactly? Binge drinker, party girl, mean girl, slut?"
"Honey, you don't need to explain yourself to others."
"I know. But still… I need to figure out how somewhere along the way I turned into a dirty little whore from a respectable housewife," I said and chuckled. "I kinda miss being a housewife, you know."
"Sooo... does this mean you won't be flirting while on vacation?"
I shook my head and smiled. "It's family time," I said.
V stared at me disbelievingly, with a knowing look.
"Well… okay, okay. I can't promise, but I'll try," I said, and again we both laughed uncontrollably.
The buzzer rang and I picked it up.
"Honey, the time for our parting has arrived. The cab's ready to take me to the airport," I said. "I will miss you."
I hugged him tightly. "I wish we can be together this Christmas."
"Me too. Be good okay?" V replied. "And remember, you're Kane. People don't tell you who you are. You tell them."
Daniel C. Dennett: A Difference That Makes a Difference
48 minutes ago