Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Problem With Vaginas


"So does that mean you want to become a woman?" my friend asked me years ago after I told her I was gay.

"No, I don't. I mean I like being a guy and I just happen to like other guys," I carefully explained. "Besides, who would want a vagina?"

Vaginas. That mysterious hollow where few gay men have dared to enter. Vaginas have long been the subject of ridicule and the butt (pun intended) of jokes of gay men around the world for centuries.

“It smells like fish,” or “I don’t like the taste of vinegar,” or “I don’t wanna have to pinch my nose to eat it.”

It's understandable why gay men dislike vaginas. But surprisingly, some women do too.

The problem with vaginas is that they seem to be "just straight-out bad luck," Caitlin Moran's said in her book How to be a Woman. "Only a masochist would want one, because only awful things happen to them. Vaginas get torn. Vaginas get 'examined'. Evidence is found in them. Serial killers leave things in them, to taunt Morse . . . No one wants one of those."

But come to think of it, so do anuses. Anuses do get torn, they sometimes bleed, they get examined, and people put random things inside of them (not that I would know anything about this, of course). Both, I've heard, can at times smell funny, look strange, taste weird.

I've never had sex with a woman. I know. Shameful. I've often been curious how it would feel to have your dick inside a vagina. I've heard it's wet. Is it tighter? Looser? Less or more pleasurable?

I have kissed and made out with girls. I noticed women smell differently compared to men; their scent is sweet as opposed to the musky scent of guys. Their bodies feel different too; curvy with breasts in front and softer all around.

Some of my straight guy friends keep telling me I should try having sex with a woman. I've always said "sure, sure" but there's always a lot of reservations in my head. Will I get a hard on? I want her to know I'm gay and I want her to guide me because I'm still (technically) a virgin in that area.

"Yes" is the Word

I have decided I want to try anything at least once. The word is "Yes" and I'll say it at anything ... or to anyone. If an opportunity presents itself, I'll take it. And that includes, sex with girls, cunnilingus, trips to bath houses, orgies, fisting (ewww, wait, let me think about that).

All the things I have long been scared to do either because of fear of being judged or fear that I might fail. What the heck. I can't live life like that. And besides, it's just a vagina ... right?


Mugen said...

forced to have sex with a girl prostitute was my downfall. it was my ultimate turning point.

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

Wow! I never thought of this. I did have girlfriends before. And they knew i was gay. Sex? Yes. Truth is, sexually they are more pleasurable and satisfying. But it was the emotional longing for a man is more intense; probably that is why i am gay.

Just dont do what you are not comfortable with.


Eternal Wanderer... said...

tara, kane.

mam-bebot tayo for a change.


gillboard said...

it's nice. that's all.

Lady Gaga said...

go ahead and be surprised at how it will feel so natural...

be natural. be human.

shit, parang nagpapatalastas lang. hahahahaha.

rudeboy said...

I won't be ragging on vadges simply because that's a place we all came from - except you C-section babies, you're freaks.

Anyways, yes it's true that many gay men recoil at the mere mention of vaginas with the same alacrity as a politician recoiling from intelligence. For a marginalized community that often exhorts the ruling hetero community to "open their minds", I find it amusing (and occasionally maddening) how closed our own minds are sometimes.

Whenever I get embroiled in lively discussions such as these with other PLUs, I often liken penises and vaginas to food. Sure, most of us here like the sausage, but hell if it isn't boring to have that and only that on the menu forever and frickin' ever.

Try the seafood sometime, whydontcha. It's just like the whole quiche argument.

Not only do real men eat quiche. Real men are secure enough in their sexuality to eat anything they goddamn please.

bien said...

GO for it Kane!
Then share your own vagina monologue with us

citybuoy said...

Don't worry, Kane. You're not alone here. I'm a virgin too. But that's because I'm so innocent. lol

dabo said...

the best way to have sex with a girl is gumamit ng straw hahaha

Lulu LaBonne said...

no reason not to like both - try it you'll never know otherwise

matt said...

you'll get different sensations from those holes. i love guys ass the most..LOL

R. Burnett Baker said...

Damn! And all this time I thought they were pussies!


Patrick said...

Try a woman who's been eating fresh pineapple for a week. Vagina would be amazingly a bit sweet.

Manech said...

Openness is always a good thing. Who knows? You might like it. :)