And V Said ... Fame! Fame! Fame!

Dear K,

"Let's play a lovegame, do you want love, or you want fame?"

Why is it that I can only choose one over the other? But seriously, if I have to choose one... I'd choose fame. No wait, I chose fame. Isn't it obvious? I've had love. Four years to be exact. Isama mo pa ang 16 months after the four years. And I guess, it's time to focus working on someone who I should've spent more time with --- me. GaGa sang "Love Love Love", but I say "Fun Fun Fun". The days of cuddling and embraces may have long been gone, but I now see that flashing bulbs are just as warm.

oOo

And so the years have passed, and we may not be where we wanted to be. But we are here, aren't we?

We have to play the cards that we are dealt with. Lady Luck may not be on our side (she's a very jealous woman), but it doesn't mean that we will go crashing down and call it quits. Until the next shuffle, I say. We may want to be somewhere else, but screw it. Tama ka. Andito na tayo eh. So I say, raise the stakes, shuffle the cards and deal with all the Kings and Jacks and yes, even the Queens until we hit it big.

oOo

"slightly weathered, slightly worn"

If I remember right, it says: "I still believe in ever after". So do you still believe in ever afters? In castles from faraway lands? I know you no longer wishes for castles K, as you have fancied on elevator-welcomed building floors in the Upper Eastside. Indeed, we all have to grow up from fairy tales

oOo

We look at the world and perhaps for the very first time, we are seeing things the way they really are. And you know what? I see you V, and it's a beautiful sight. Happy birthday honey. I love you, but you already know that.

It's hard to see oneself K, especially when you don't have a mirror. You know that this phase in my life has been very changing. A lot of things I raise for question --- my morals, my dreams, my hopes; and sometimes, I am afraid of the answers that I might get. I may look tough, or act tough, trying to be all grown up... but I am scared sometimes. Like what Hansel and Gretel must have really felt when they were lost in the woods. But your love secures me, like a hand that carries mine. How beautiful that you see me, and accept me as I unravel. Such a lucky kid, I am.

oOo

I hope you find love again. Love is game, they say, but as Hungarian-born socialite and actress Eva Gabor (who you share a birthday with) once said, love is a game that two can play and both win.

We will find love again. Not a moment do I doubt that. If love is indeed a game, then I say the whole world is the playground and everyone is in it. Too bad for me, as I seem to have bruised myself from the last game, but that would not stop my from playing (as all wounds eventually heal up). So I may limp now and then from the game, and I am most likely to fail, but i still want to dive in and do it. But we hope in the game of love, we win next time. Like scientologist and A-list actor Tom Cruise, who you share a birthday with (kala mo ikaw lang ha), I disagree that we learn more from getting beat up than in winning.

oOo

So, what are we waiting for? Let the games begin!

Nagsimula na honey! And guess what? TAG!! You're it!