Gossip Girl: Disco Inferno

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Previously on Gossip Girl:
Crazy Cupid Love

"So ... what's your birthday wish honey? You happy?" I asked.

 "I am, I  am. It's been a great year,  and I'm happy you guys are with me. But ... sana makahanap na tayo ng someone to spend our lives with," he replied wistfully.

"Sana nga. Hay ... sige na nga, kahit mauna ka na!" I said and hugged him. 

Summer, Kind of Wonderful

Summer Tips

Sorry for the silent treatment Gossips. I know it's been almost a month and some of you may have wondered where I've been, but I'm here now to officially welcome you to the start of what promises to be a sizzling summer. 

As the sweltering heat slowly engulfs the city, stirring hidden passions and desires long frozen by winter's cold embrace, there's really only one thing we can do. 

Fight fire with fire.

 "You owe us dinner!" Vackie told me the next day. "I can't believe it. Kainis ka. (I hate you.) You left us for some guy!"

"I'm sooooo sorrrrrrry honeeeeey. I swear, wala na akong nagawa. I was drunk and hinila hila na lang niya ako," I tried to explain, mustering up the courage to apologize for suddenly disappearing the previous night.

"Unfortunately for you K, there are witnesses. We saw you. And in fact, ikaw ang humila hila sa kanya!" V said accusingly.

"Ahhhhh," I fumbled and started to laugh. "Talaga? Hahaha. Well ... fine. You caught me. I must say though ... it was worth it. Ang sarrapppp ng sex honey! Plus, it was my second time to try a motel."

"Oh my God! Motel girl ka na?

"He insisted kasi and I played along na lang. Whew. He's got the moves like Jagger. And I watched us in the mirror … it is kind of hot pala no?"

My memory was a blur of bottles of vodka, dazzling crimson lights and my friends and I wildly dancing as Calvin Harris played his epic "Feel So Close".

24 hours earlier

"Gentlemen, I've got five tickets to Calvin's concert tonight. Are we going … or are we going?" I announced.

"OMG!!!" Carlo squealed. "How did you get them? They're so expensive kaya! But wait, we have work tomorrow!"

"I know, and that's why we're all coming down with the flu. I mean, you are looking a little pale," I said teasingly.

"Well ... I do feel a little hot," Carlo said playing along. "Hahaha. Fine! So who gave you the tickets? Did you have to sleep with someone?"

"As a matter of fact, no," I replied disdainfully. "I don't do those things you know. Let's just say … I was very persuasive."

That night was one of the best my friends and I ever had. The music, the lights, the alcohol, the energy of the crowd ... it was enough to make you feel like you would live forever. This ... just like this.

"The guy I met, his name is Randy," I narrated. "He's actually not from here. He works in the Middle East and is just in town for a vacation. Honey ... he has a girlfriend."

"Ohh," V said.

"And a boyfriend."

"Ooohhhh."

"Sigh. What does that make me?" I asked.

"Errrr ... Manila's world famous tourist stop?" he answered and we burst out laughing. "You're like the Tour Eiffel. Or the Parthenon. Certainly not to be missed."

"Gaga ka talaga!" I said. "But seriously, grabe no? Some guys just want to have it all! Di na makuntento. May girlfriend na, may boyfriend pa, gusto pang kumantot ng iba! WTF!"

"Well ... boys will be boys, as we always say," V said.






"Actually may girlfriend ako," Randy confided while we were eating longsilog and pancakes for breakfast. We were both worn out from the lack of rest and our exertions.

"Ahhhh ... nasan siya?" I asked.

"Parating siya in a couple of weeks," he said.

"Hindi ka ba nagu guilty?" I asked him.

"Actually, ang gusto ko lang naman bigyan niya ako ng anak then kahit iwan nya ako, bahala siya."

Wow,  I thought to myself. I may not know this guy very well but that seemed mighty unfair to me.

"May boyfriend rin ako," Randy continued. "Pero hindi na kami nag se sex."

"O? Bakit?"

He was silent  for awhile, pondering his next thoughts. "Eh kasi, baklang bakla na siya."

"Minsan sasayaw sayaw siya sa harap ko," he continued demonstrating the dance. "Nandidiri ako pero kunwari natutuwa na lang ako. Siyempre ayoko rin siya masaktan."

I heaved a big sigh in my head. I was suddenly saddened by his story. I thought of Randy's boyfriend, who probably loves him, who thought he could be himself around his lover, because that's what they're supposed to do right? Accept us for who we are. No, make that love us for who we are.

I thought of Randy, who pretends to like his boyfriend's effeminate side even though he's quietly disgusted by it. Because he loves him and doesn't want to hurt him. So he pretends. I thought of his girlfriend who probably has no idea that her boyfriend is gay. All these deceptions and lies so as not to reveal who we really are, what we really want. There's a certain Shakespearean tragedy in it.

I kept all of this in my head, as I continued to quietly listen to his stories. Can I really blame him? We've all been there.






"So ... while you and Carlo were busy hooking up with random strangers, I actually met someone," Vackie said and paused. He seemed very excited.

"But you always meet someone," I replied, teasing him.

"No. This one's different," he tried to explain.

"But they always seem different, don't they?" I prodded. "At the start, at least. Until you get to know them."

"Basta. I am going to see him again tonight," V said. "I am leaving your town Whoreville behind, while you're still the mayor!"

"Hahaha. Gaga! Tingnan natin. Just don't come crawling back, begging to be let back in if things fizzle out!" I warned. "But seriously,  wow.  An actual date?"

"Yes. An actual date with no sex involved? How rare is that?'

"Hahaha. Hayyy ... buti ka pa."

Long after the clubs have closed, disco inferno rages on. For some, it's burning desire that keeps them going on at night.

"And you? What are your plans tonight?" V asked.

"Well ... I am meeting a guy."

"Again? Pang ilan mo na yan this week?" he said.

"My sixth. I know, I know. What can I do? This heat ... it's burning me up."

For others, it's the flame of uncertainty that plagues them.

"Hay honey, I hope this guy turns out to be nice. I've had so many hits and misses in the past years. Ayoko na!!!!!" Vackie said.

"Well, we'll never know right? Who knows? You just might get your birthday wish. Maybe he's the prince who won't turn back into a frog, unlike so many others," I said. We were laughing but deep down, I uttered a prayer to whatever gods there may be to give my friend some luck. We can all use some.

But whatever the new season brings, it's best to be prepared. Because the start of summer isn't the end of me. And whether they're sweating it out on the sultry sidewalks of Manila or cooling their heels in Barbados, no one does summer like our Upper Eastsiders.

Grab your shades and sunblock. This one looks like a scorcher. Until then, my lovely friends, you know you love me.






XOXO
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Gossip Girl: Summer Tips

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Sorry for the silent treatment, Gossips. But everyone deserves a little R and R. So before you head off for the Holy Week, I'd like to share a few things I've learned about having fun under the sun. We all know how some of us get burned by the heat.

Tip No. 1: Leave before the sun rises. The best hookups are free of morning breath and awkward conversations.

Tip No. 2: There is no "we" in summer. Only you and I. Find out where you stand before you find yourself stood up. Anyone can canoodle in April and May, but will he be gone by June?

Tip No. 3: Go to the beach, escape the city, smell the flowers. It's true ... all good things must come to an end, and summer is no exception. They don't call it "fall" for nothing.

XOXO

Gossip Girl: Summer, Kind of Wonderful

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Hey Upper East Siders! With the warm breeze in the air, it looks like winter is officially over and things are heating up.

Some would say summer is their busiest season. Will you be partying in Ibiza or tanning in Saint-Tropez? Nothing beats a summer abroad and word is Kane is planning a getaway.

Spotted: K heading East. To the fabled land of India in search of the love monument Taj Mahal. Too bad for Lonely Boy, he's going to be ... all alone.

 
 
"So… you're really going alone to India next month huh?" V said.
 
"Yes honey. Eat Pray Love part two," I replied.

"Well, don't forget. It's Eat Pray Love, not Eat Love!"

"Hahaha. Gaga ka talaga. But isn't it fun that I'll be learning about Hinduism and the Kama Sutra all at the same time. Talk about enriching your body and your soul."

"OMG honey. Holy and sinful at the same time. I love it," V said. "But … all those contortions. Can your body still take it? You're not exactly a young feathered thing anymore."

"Hahaha. I know!!! I'll have to manage."

"Oh boy. Mahuhulasan ang mga lalaki mo pag-uwi mo. (Your men in Manila will definitely be in for a surprise when you get back.) You're not the same girl … same girl ..." V said, singing the lines.

"Hahaha. Gaga ka. (Fucker.) But I'm actually excited to have an entire summer with nothing to do but figure things out."

"What for?" V said. "All the drama, that's who you are. Just like I'm someone who's not going to stop searching for love just because I lost it. Which is why I'm going directly into the belly of the beast."

"Where?"

"Galera."

"OMG honeyyyyyyyyyyyy. Mag ga Galera ka? (You're going to Galera?) Without me??????????????"

"Well, I'm a big girl and I'll be fine. Who knows? Maybe Prince Charming will be there among the beasts."

"Who knows?" I said and smiled wistfully.

"Although I doubt it. Everyone's looking for a spark but that won't even do for me. Gusto ko talagang masasabi kong (I want to be able to say) 'Baby… you're a firework'."



We were both laughing and then we were quiet for awhile.

"Well, I hope we both find what we're looking for," I told V, smiling softly at him.

 
 
 
 
 
Buddha once said "There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to the truth; not going all the way, and not starting."
 
So we set out for far away places and try to find ourselves. Or... try to lose ourselves. Exploring pleasures we've never tried before.
 
The problems start when we refuse to allow change to happen and cling to old habits. Because if we hold on to the past too tight, the future may never come.

 
 
 
 
 
XOXO

The Quest For Frisson

It was a Saturday night and I was taking a shower while listening to Big Fish radio featuring David Guetta.

I was scrubbing my back and legs, preparing for a night out in town, when suddenly a song played and I said to myself: "Wait... What is this song?"

I fell into a trance. There were no words to describe how it felt, how the music took me higher and higher, deeper into my subconscious, evoking emotions, memories of things that have happened, and those that are yet to happen.

Roger Ebert describes these moments with the French word frisson: something English has no exact equivalent. It is a brief intense reaction, usually a feeling of excitement, recognition, or terror.

I call these wow moments and these moments become rarer as you grow older. Our threshold to be shocked, amazed, or be wowed steadily rises as we see more and more of the world. But the quest never ends: the search for frisson: whether in food, or art, or music, or literature, or love. Especially love.









Here is the song Beatport says "got all the ingredients of a summer festival smash."

"We are not going home
We're phazing
A million miles away."