Gossip Girl: The Games We Play (III)

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Previously:
The Games We Play (I)
The Games We Play (II)



Wakey wakey sleepyheads, Gossip Girl here. Grab your horses and guns, cause word is hunting season has begun. And guess who's leading the pack?

Why, none other than our favorite girl Kane who we hear has found himself a new hunting mate. One to do the dirty, the other to act as bait.



"Oh God, honey. Every time I pass the guards at home, they all have a look that seems to say, 'I know who you did last weekend!' Arghhh!"

"And what exactly happened last weekend?" V asked.



Three days ago

"Hay naku Gino, nakakainis. I can't contact Grindr boy's phone!! We were supposed to go out," I told Gino. Grindr boy and I had agreet to meet last weekend, and I was looking forward to another hot makeout session. But I haven't heard from him and his phone was turned off.

"Hayaan mo na. Si John na lang kasi," he said.

"John is out of town. Hay… my weekend plans are getting fucked up."

"Ano ba yan. Hayaan mo sila. Ako bahala sa iyo. We'll have a weekend you'll never forget."

I didn't realize how prophetic those words would be.

 
 
The club was already filled with people when we arrived past three a.m. I saw some of my friends including Glenn who was visiting from Malaysia. We were having a lot of fun dancing to our current favorite anthem "Till The World Ends" and flirting with boys.
 
I was tired but happy when we left. I even forgot about John and Grindr boy, when suddenly …

"Ano. May gustong sumama sa atin," Gino said.

I was caught off guard. "Huh? Sino?"

"Basta. Okay ito. Ano?"

I was a little confused. I was a little drunk and things weren't sinking in my brain quickly. "He's alone?"

"Yeah. Kung gusto mo, we can have a threesome."






A threesome. I've never done a threesome; I mean, I've never done it with a friend. Besides, I'm not really a group fun kind of girl. I like things simple. Contrary to what some people may think, I'm not as adventurous in sex as others. Group sex can be so messy, you don't know what to do or who to do first.

I tried it twice. The first was a massive success and the second was an epic failure. The first happened when I went to the island of Boracay alone for three days; and ended up staying there for two weeks.

I was 21, and I imagined I must have been beautiful then. They were older than I was, strong handsome men with girl friends. I remember calling my best friend then to ask her if I should go ahead with it. And she said, "Go! Just try it out!"

So I did and it was one of the most unforgettable experiences I've had. It probably was the first time I learned the body can be quite … what's the word … malleable? And how two kisses can be better than one.

The second was two years ago with a couple. I was fucking one of them (he requested) when suddenly, I smelled something funny … and let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that was when the Great Tower of Babel fell down in a single swipe.

I hurriedly left and that was the end of that. God!!! Shouldn't everyone by now know the cardinal rule of being a bottom?

CLEAN! CLEAN! CLEAN! Motherfucker. What a way to end a tryst.





"So ano? Gusto mo ba?" Gino asked me. I was jolted back from my reverie.
 
 
 
So what will it be K? Party-pooper or go-getter?
 
 
 
"Uhhhhm … Okay lang."

 
 
Jonathan was pleasantly cute; lean, chinito, tall and really young. Fucker, the energy these kids have, I actually came twice even though I was intoxicated and exhausted.
 
Yes, ladies, he was that good.

I guess Gino wasn't satisfied because the next night, we went out again and hooked up with … (drumroll) Jonathan's friends. I know, I know … slutty much?

And what was so exciting about it was that his friends didn't know we hooked up with Jonathan the night before. We could tell he was upset that we were flirting with his friends ... but well, boys will be boys. His friends were both also good looking; one was an artist and the other a model. Gino fucked one of them on the kitchen floor while the other wanted me to cum on his face. Shit, ang sarap.

I was spent, drained, but I suppose it still wasn't enough because the next day, Gino asked another guy to come over.


 
 
 
"Abusada ka naman masyado!" V exclaimed. "Threesomes are for special occasions; you know … for your birthday, when you get a promotion, something to treat yourself with. Not three times in one weekend!"
 
"What can I do?" I protested. "I didn't have to do anything. Gino did all the work; and since it was already there I couldn't say no."

"Ayan ka na naman! Kunwari wala ka na lang magawa!" V said, laughing. "But seriously, did you like it?"

The question caught me by surprise. I thought hard before answering.

"Honestly … I did. Sigh. Is that bad? That I liked it?"



Sometimes in life we hit a crossroad and are forced to choose which path we want to take. And there's no way of knowing if our journey will lead us to pleasure or pain.

Careful K. If you step in those shoes, there's no telling where you just might end up.





XOXO-

A Delicate Li(n)e

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"Kamusta? (How are you?)" James texted me about a month ago.

"Okay naman. Ikaw? (I'm good. You?)" I replied.

"Maayos naman bro. Pre-departure orientation ko na tomorrow. (I'm fine bro. It's my pre-departure orientation tomorrow.)"

"Ahh. Saan ka pupunta? (Where are you going?)"

"Saudi. Work ako doon para makatulong sa parents ko. (I'm working there to help my parents.)"

"Oh wow. You finally got an overseas job! Are you happy?" I asked him.

"Happy… and nervous."

"Hahaha. Change can be good =)."

"Mag meet tayo? Ma mi miss kita. (Can we meet? I'll miss you.)

 
 
James has been my fuck buddy for more than a year now. He's young. Okay, fine. He's really, really young. He's 21 years old and I'm a dinosaur compared to him.
 
I met him when he was still a student. He is cute but I wasn't really attracted to him. But because he is young, he can be very makulit (persistent) and sometimes he catches me at a time when I'm horny and just too lazy to look for sex, and I say to myself "WTF. A mouth is still a mouth".

He would often send me message after message asking to meet and hangout. Of course we all know what that means.

But curiously over time, we started to develop some sort of friendship. He started confiding in me and he would talk to me about what worries him; how difficult it is to find a job as a nurse nowadays in the country, how he finds it frustrating how he can barely help his family financially.

 
 
"Humina negosyo ng parents ko bro (My parents' business is failing)," James told me once.
 
"Oh. Money problems are always stressful, I know."

"I even borrowed money from my friends. I don't know why kulang pa rin (it's still not enough). Gusto ko uminom ng alak para ma release ko stress ko (I just want to drink so I can release the stress I'm feeling right now.)"

"I just showed my mother how brave I am. Pero (But) deep inside it hurts," James continued.

"Why does it hurt?"

"Because I should find ways to help my mom. But my salary is not enough."

"I hope luck will turn. You know, we all go through these things at some point in our lives. I guess we just have to be brave."

"I hope so."

Much later he texted again.

"Bro?"

"Yep?"

"Salamat ha. (Thank you.) You're really a good guy. You're different from anybody else I've met."



Rudeboy once told me this.

"You're at an interesting age. Young enough to still be beautiful, old enough to be wise. Savor it. When the time comes, the loss of youthful beauty may be replaced by something else. Grace, perhaps."



As I grow older, I think he is more and more right.

Young enough to fuck with, old enough to be wise. That's where I am right now. It's such a delicate line. Too little or too much of one or the other and it becomes a delicate lie.

I suddenly remember the older men I dated when I was younger. Did they look at me then the way I look at these boys now?  Perhaps life does indeed come full circle. Once, you were a boy. Then, you become a man. And then ... an old man.



James leaves today. I found myself strangely saddened by his departure. I wish him well in his journey. Life goes on. Besides, with James gone the harem now lacks a member. Guess I'll have to find a replacement to cheer me up.



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Open Auditions

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Part I

Now, what's a girl to do when a lover leaves?

Others may sit in a corner and sulk, but definitely not this girl and not in her kingdom. Instead, she summons the court messenger to announce open auditions for the next batch of fuck buddies.

"Should I send for Brandon, Your Majesty?" the court messenger asked.

"No. I am tiring of him. I want new ones. Send a royal edict to every corner of the land. I want all young, able-bodied men in the palace within a fortnight," I said.

"As you wish, Your Highness. Is that all?"

"Yes. You may leave."



There's nothing like new dishes to whet up your appetite; after all, men do come in all shapes, shades, sizes, and scents.

The first to arrive was a young lad named Joel. He obviously comes from a poor peasant family with his ragtag clothes and scruffy hair.

Joel looked like… Hmmmm… how do we put it delicately? He looked like a kanto boy; the kind na tambay sa mga kalye ng Manila kasama ang tropa. (He looked like one of those boys who hang out in Manila's street corners with his buddies.)



Profile: Very raw, rough, rugged. Deliciously dark. I must admit, he isn't my usual type, but a little variety now and again spices up our lives.

Company: His stories about working in the Middle East and family anecdotes got me hooked. His mom is a katulong (maid) and his father is a jeepney driver. Natuwa ako sa mga kuwento niya. Plus, his smile is particularly endearing.

Performance in and out of bed: Have you ever felt like a teenage girl raped and violated? I was tossed and turned and flipped and … nuff said.



Part II

After I sent Joel away, I decided to do some errands. Naglalakad ako pauwi ng may nakasalubong akong dalawang lalaki. (I was walking home when I crossed paths with two guys.)

I was on the phone with Carlo that time; I turned around and saw that they had stopped and were looking at me.

"Oh my God honey, huminto sila (they stopped)," I said.

"Huminto ka rin! (Stop!)"

Huminto nga ako. (I stopped.)

"Anong gagawin ko? (What do I do?)" I asked. I was fidgeting, nervous.

"Dalawa sila, so dapat sila ang lumapit. (There's two of them so they should be the ones to approach.)"

After a long wait, one of them came up to me and introduced himself as Dwayne. He was wearing a grey shirt and shorts; cute, chinito, tall, my kind of guy.

"Gusto mo ba ngayon? Dalawa kami. (Do you want to hook up with us?)" Dwayne asked, cutting short the chit chat.

Nagulat ako. Buy one, take two pala ito. (I was startled. I realized they're a package deal.)

"Uhmmm, kakatapos ko lang kanina eh. Hindi na ako lalabasan niyan. ( Uhmmm, I just had sex earlier. I'm not really in the mood anymore.)"

"Okay lang yan. Kami bahala sa iyo. (Don't worry. We'll take care of you.)," he said, trying to convince me.



The bargaining has begun.



"Okay yung kasama ko, maganda ang katawan niyan. (My friend's got a hot body.)," Dwayne said, gesturing at his friend.

I was in a dilemma. I already had sex twice that day, and I'm more than happy with that. Still… hooking up with two guys you just met in a street is the stuff gay dreams are made of.

Dwayne could see I was still hesitant.

"Kung gusto mo, manood ka na lang. (If you want, you can just watch.)"

Watch. Now that's something I've never done before. Watch two guys fuck live, how can a girl resist?

 
 
Part III
 
To be continued...

Farewell My Concubine

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Young, reckless and impulsive, Chris charmed the guests at the birthday party we were at last Friday night.

"So what are you guys?" Arnold asked us.

Chris and I looked at each other and laughed.

"We're … friends," I said.

"Why aren't you dating? O, are you guys just fucking each other?"

"I'm not his type," Chris butted in. "He likes them older. And yes, we fuck."

"Chris!" I blushed or pretended to, at least.

"I like your boy," Arnold whispered to me. "He is such a delight."

"I know," I whispered back.



Chris and I were left alone while the others refilled the ice and mixed more drinks. I was tired from a long day of work, and the cold October night and alcohol were making me woozy.

I looked at him and noticed he looked especially good tonight, in his tight black jeans and ochre-colored shirt. I wanted to kiss him right there. It has been awhile since we had sex; three weeks to be exact.

"I'm going to see my ex tomorrow," Chris suddenly told me.

I was surprised.

"Ahhh. You're talking again pala. Magbabalikan ba kayo? (Are you guys getting back together?)"

"I don't know. He says he wants to talk."

Talk. I knew what that meant.

"Oh. How long has it been?" I asked him.

"Three months na."

I could see he was trying not to be excited. But I knew how much his ex-boyfriend meant to him.

I took his hand and squeezed it.

"Masaya ako para sa iyo Chris. (I'm happy for you Chris)," I said.

"Asus. It's nothing. We'll just talk," he said, downplaying the meeting.

I finished the last of the vodka in my glass. I knew what was going to happen.

"So … if you do get back together, I guess that means we won't see each other again right?" I asked, trying to make the question sound light. But I already knew the answer.

Chris was silent, trying to evade the question.

"Parang ganun na nga. (I guess so.)"

I slowly nodded.

"Hey, I'll miss you," I said and smiled at him weakly.



There's a time for beginnings; there's a time for endings. With friends, lovers, and even fuck buddies.

Chris is my fuck buddy. But he is also more than that. He is also my friend, my companion. We have shared stories to each other, listened when the other needed to talk.  Chris was a mess when he broke up with his ex. Nobody knew he was gay; he had no one he could talk to. I befriended him, introduced him to my friends, and brought him to parties and clubs. He discovered a whole new world.

But time and time again, I would catch him staring into the distance and I knew his mind was somewhere else. Somewhere not here.

Although he rarely spoke of his failed relationship, I knew it was always in his thoughts, in the way his eyes would cloud over, in the way he would hug me tightly with his eyes closed at night. I knew those were not for me, but for a ghost in some distant past.



That night, we had sex for the last time. He left in the morning and headed straight to his ex-boyfriend's house.

Chris was coming home.

"We said eternity;
And I will go to my grave
With the life that I gave."
---John Mayer, "Home Life"