Happiness Like a Tattoo

-

"Thanks Kane. I really appreciate it. By the way, how are you?" Yas texted me.

"I'm good Yas. Happy =)," I replied.

"I always say I wish happiness is like a tattoo; permanent."

"Ohhh… It comes and goes, I've learned."

"Yung iba kasi, maraming stock. Ayaw mamigay. (But you know, it just seems others have a huge stock of it. They don't want to share.) Hahaha."

"Yung iba naman, nasa harap na nila, ayaw pang kunin. (While for some, it's right in front of them, they just don't want to take it.)"

"Aaayyyyyy!!! May pinanghuhugutang malalim ba iyan? (Now where did that come from?)" Yas asked.
 
"Hahaha. It's just an observation of human nature. :)"
 
 
 
I think, we all want to be happy. As the Greek philosopher Aristotle observed, no person deliberately chooses to be unhappy.
 
The question then is: What is happiness? What makes us happy?
 
 
 
In his lecture "The Four Levels of Happiness", Reverend Robert Spitzer, S.J., writer, teacher, and speaker, discussed the four kinds of happiness we experience.

1) Laetus: Happiness in a thing.

I want a vanilla almond ice cream. I bought and ate vanilla almond ice cream. I am happy.
I want the Iphone4. I bought the Iphone4. I am happy.

This kind of happiness comes from things outside ourselves and involves one or more of the five senses. The pleasure they give is immediate, direct but short lived.

After awhile, you'd want another ice cream, a newer phone.



2) Felix: The happiness of comparative advantage.

I have a nicer job than Andrew.
I have more money than Michelle.
My biceps are bigger than Miguel's

This kind of happiness involves the ego. It is a result of competition, by comparing yourself to others and seeing yourself as superior to others. The most important thing in the world (me) has been affirmed.

We all want to improve ourselves, to achieve goals and finish projects. The danger is when we believe that happiness can only be found in achievement or success; that means we will live in constant competition with other people.



3) Beatitudo: The happiness that comes from seeing the good in another person and doing good for another person.

My friend Paolo is sick. I will take care of him even if it means I will not have enough sleep.
My sister needs money for school. I will give her the money I have been saving for a new phone.

Human beings are not selfish; or at least, not all are. Some of us also desire love, truth, justice, beauty.

We find happiness in giving to another, in making the world a better place. We make personal sacrifices, forgive others, give our live, energy, money and time to another person.

But at some point, we can become frustrated. We realize we can never do enough to help, there is always more to do. We cannot be everything to everyone.



4) Sublime Beatitudo: The reach for fullness and perfection of happiness.

We all face our mortality, at some point in time. This recognition of our finiteness is what pushes our desire for the sublime, something beyond. People of faith recognize this as a desire for a God.

For others, it's a recognition of something infinite that lies beyond our mortal world. Perhaps the collective human creativity and spirit which has propelled our civilization to where it is now.

Sometimes I wonder why happiness is fleeting. Why do we suffer? Perhaps it is because most of our happiness is tied to mortal things; human gadgets, human love.

Open Auditions

-

Part I

Now, what's a girl to do when a lover leaves?

Others may sit in a corner and sulk, but definitely not this girl and not in her kingdom. Instead, she summons the court messenger to announce open auditions for the next batch of fuck buddies.

"Should I send for Brandon, Your Majesty?" the court messenger asked.

"No. I am tiring of him. I want new ones. Send a royal edict to every corner of the land. I want all young, able-bodied men in the palace within a fortnight," I said.

"As you wish, Your Highness. Is that all?"

"Yes. You may leave."



There's nothing like new dishes to whet up your appetite; after all, men do come in all shapes, shades, sizes, and scents.

The first to arrive was a young lad named Joel. He obviously comes from a poor peasant family with his ragtag clothes and scruffy hair.

Joel looked like… Hmmmm… how do we put it delicately? He looked like a kanto boy; the kind na tambay sa mga kalye ng Manila kasama ang tropa. (He looked like one of those boys who hang out in Manila's street corners with his buddies.)



Profile: Very raw, rough, rugged. Deliciously dark. I must admit, he isn't my usual type, but a little variety now and again spices up our lives.

Company: His stories about working in the Middle East and family anecdotes got me hooked. His mom is a katulong (maid) and his father is a jeepney driver. Natuwa ako sa mga kuwento niya. Plus, his smile is particularly endearing.

Performance in and out of bed: Have you ever felt like a teenage girl raped and violated? I was tossed and turned and flipped and … nuff said.



Part II

After I sent Joel away, I decided to do some errands. Naglalakad ako pauwi ng may nakasalubong akong dalawang lalaki. (I was walking home when I crossed paths with two guys.)

I was on the phone with Carlo that time; I turned around and saw that they had stopped and were looking at me.

"Oh my God honey, huminto sila (they stopped)," I said.

"Huminto ka rin! (Stop!)"

Huminto nga ako. (I stopped.)

"Anong gagawin ko? (What do I do?)" I asked. I was fidgeting, nervous.

"Dalawa sila, so dapat sila ang lumapit. (There's two of them so they should be the ones to approach.)"

After a long wait, one of them came up to me and introduced himself as Dwayne. He was wearing a grey shirt and shorts; cute, chinito, tall, my kind of guy.

"Gusto mo ba ngayon? Dalawa kami. (Do you want to hook up with us?)" Dwayne asked, cutting short the chit chat.

Nagulat ako. Buy one, take two pala ito. (I was startled. I realized they're a package deal.)

"Uhmmm, kakatapos ko lang kanina eh. Hindi na ako lalabasan niyan. ( Uhmmm, I just had sex earlier. I'm not really in the mood anymore.)"

"Okay lang yan. Kami bahala sa iyo. (Don't worry. We'll take care of you.)," he said, trying to convince me.



The bargaining has begun.



"Okay yung kasama ko, maganda ang katawan niyan. (My friend's got a hot body.)," Dwayne said, gesturing at his friend.

I was in a dilemma. I already had sex twice that day, and I'm more than happy with that. Still… hooking up with two guys you just met in a street is the stuff gay dreams are made of.

Dwayne could see I was still hesitant.

"Kung gusto mo, manood ka na lang. (If you want, you can just watch.)"

Watch. Now that's something I've never done before. Watch two guys fuck live, how can a girl resist?

 
 
Part III
 
To be continued...

Farewell My Concubine

-

Young, reckless and impulsive, Chris charmed the guests at the birthday party we were at last Friday night.

"So what are you guys?" Arnold asked us.

Chris and I looked at each other and laughed.

"We're … friends," I said.

"Why aren't you dating? O, are you guys just fucking each other?"

"I'm not his type," Chris butted in. "He likes them older. And yes, we fuck."

"Chris!" I blushed or pretended to, at least.

"I like your boy," Arnold whispered to me. "He is such a delight."

"I know," I whispered back.



Chris and I were left alone while the others refilled the ice and mixed more drinks. I was tired from a long day of work, and the cold October night and alcohol were making me woozy.

I looked at him and noticed he looked especially good tonight, in his tight black jeans and ochre-colored shirt. I wanted to kiss him right there. It has been awhile since we had sex; three weeks to be exact.

"I'm going to see my ex tomorrow," Chris suddenly told me.

I was surprised.

"Ahhh. You're talking again pala. Magbabalikan ba kayo? (Are you guys getting back together?)"

"I don't know. He says he wants to talk."

Talk. I knew what that meant.

"Oh. How long has it been?" I asked him.

"Three months na."

I could see he was trying not to be excited. But I knew how much his ex-boyfriend meant to him.

I took his hand and squeezed it.

"Masaya ako para sa iyo Chris. (I'm happy for you Chris)," I said.

"Asus. It's nothing. We'll just talk," he said, downplaying the meeting.

I finished the last of the vodka in my glass. I knew what was going to happen.

"So … if you do get back together, I guess that means we won't see each other again right?" I asked, trying to make the question sound light. But I already knew the answer.

Chris was silent, trying to evade the question.

"Parang ganun na nga. (I guess so.)"

I slowly nodded.

"Hey, I'll miss you," I said and smiled at him weakly.



There's a time for beginnings; there's a time for endings. With friends, lovers, and even fuck buddies.

Chris is my fuck buddy. But he is also more than that. He is also my friend, my companion. We have shared stories to each other, listened when the other needed to talk.  Chris was a mess when he broke up with his ex. Nobody knew he was gay; he had no one he could talk to. I befriended him, introduced him to my friends, and brought him to parties and clubs. He discovered a whole new world.

But time and time again, I would catch him staring into the distance and I knew his mind was somewhere else. Somewhere not here.

Although he rarely spoke of his failed relationship, I knew it was always in his thoughts, in the way his eyes would cloud over, in the way he would hug me tightly with his eyes closed at night. I knew those were not for me, but for a ghost in some distant past.



That night, we had sex for the last time. He left in the morning and headed straight to his ex-boyfriend's house.

Chris was coming home.

"We said eternity;
And I will go to my grave
With the life that I gave."
---John Mayer, "Home Life"

It Matters Now

-

I was falling asleep when my phone rang.

"Hey Nic, what's up?" I said in a drowsy voice.

I couldn't hear anything until I suddenly realized he was crying.

"O, are you okay? What happened?"

"Jack and I broke up."

He was sobbing.

"I didn't know who else I can call. Patulog ka na ba? (Are you about to sleep?)" Nic said. "Gusto ko lang umiyak. (I just want to cry.)"

"No… it's okay Nic. Sige lang. Iiyak mo lang. (Just cry it out.)"

Nic and Jack have been together for four years. They shared many happy memories, like most couples do. They were having problems but the one that broke the last thread was when Nic found out Jack was in love… with someone else.

"Wala na akong magawa Kane eh. (I can't do anything Kane.) He's in love with someone else."

"Oh."



When relationships fail, we often look for someone or something to blame. We often say, that bitch stole my boyfriend and we insist our lovers still love us.

But I've learned that sometimes, the simplest reason is the one that's the most difficult to accept.

He fell out of love with me. There… you have it.



Nic and Jack had planned to go on a trip to Kuala Lumpur and Singapore before they broke up. They still decided to go… as friends now.

"How was it?" I asked Nic last night at the gym.

"It was okay, fun fun. I guess travelling has always been our thing, you know."

"Ahhh… you're right. Your 'couple' thing," I replied and smiled.

"I only got sad when we were about to go home from the airport," Nic said, "I guess I knew what that meant."

"What?"

"During the trip, I could still pretend we were together. A part of me wished the vacation didn't have to end."

I looked at him and told him I understood… all too well, perhaps. There are certain bridges we don't want to cross. Sometimes the grass at the other side of the fence is not greener.



To lighten things up, I playfully punched him in his tummy.

"O, what's this?" I teased him.

"Asus. Hayaan mo na iyan. (Oh just let it be.)"

"Oh honey, you forget. You are no longer married. It matters now."

"Ayyy… PAK!" Nic said and we both laughed.



I was walking home and humming a tune when Nic texted.

"You were right. Being fat matters now that I'm single."

Always

-
Fiction

I was drinking at a bar when I met Michael. We were introduced by a common friend and we started chatting after we both found out we grew up at the same hometown.

"So, how long have you been in Manila?" I asked him.

"A couple of years," he said, taking a swig at his bottle.

"So how is it so far?"

"It's great," he replied, grinning. "There are a lot more good looking men in Manila as compared to the province."

Michael was about 25, then. He was young, beautiful, eager to see the city, with its bright brimming lights and dream filled streets.

"Here, there's more variety," he said, gesturing at a couple of muscular men dancing at the ledge.

"Hahaha. A collector, I see. And whose turn is it tonight?"

"It's your turn," he answered, looking straight into my eyes.

Ahhhh… this boy likes the game, I said to myself.

"What makes you think I'll go with you?" I told him.

"What makes you think you won't?"

I found him unnerving and exciting at the same time. I rarely meet a man who could outmatch me.

"Come," he said and pulled me to the dance floor.



The next day, we woke up at around noon. I was about to leave but he insisted we get something to eat at a nearby fastfood.

"Were you always like this? When you were in Davao, were you sleeping around?"

"Oh no," he said seriously. "I had a boyfriend there."

"So what happened to him?"

"He still writes to me. But I never open his letters."

"Why not?" I asked Michael.

"I don't have time for him. But he doesn't understand that. I wish he would stop sending me gifts."

"What doesn't he understand?"

"That things change. He thinks in terms of forever. He doesn't understand why I can't keep the promises I made to him, years ago."

"Promises of eternal love."

"Who hasn't made promises like that? But nobody really keeps them. We all talk a lot, being in love makes you say things you thought you meant. I did mean those things back then. But I was young, we both were and you think you know the future. He still thinks I am his, forever."

"Perhaps he will learn in time."

"I don't think so. You don't know him. As far as he is concerned, I will always be his... always."

Michael said the last word in a way that indicated he knew that word was not his, but his boyfriend's, which he denied everyday by his actions, by not opening his letters and gifts, by placing a distance between each other.

There are people who know exactly what they want; and their will is much stronger than those who don't know what they want, or know only what they don't want. There are forces we can escape, and then there are those that are infinitely patient and determined, and love is one of them.

I thought of Michael's boyfriend, waiting for his lover to come back. I once was that boy, I remember.



I would see Michael once in while, we would go out for a drink or see each other in clubs. He got into several messy relationships and break-ups, including one that led to the loss of his job at a hotel and another that led to drug abuse. He began to lose his youthful looks, and took on the air of a man who has fallen on hard times. He soon disappeared from the scene and later on, I learned he migrated to Singapore for work.

Years later, I saw him in Orchard at a coffee shop with a guy.

"Hey Michael!" I shouted.

"Kane! What a surprise!"

"It's so good to see you," I said. "How have you been?"

"I'm good, good. Here, let me introduce you to someone."

"Kane, this is my boyfriend, Ryan. He's also from Davao," he explained to me, smiling.

"It's nice meeting you," Ryan said, shaking my hand and smiling shyly.

Ryan was nothing special compared to the boys in the clubs we used to frequent. But there was something about him, an air that was at once reserved and determined.

"We got back together," Michael whispered to me. "I guess he was right, after all. That I was always his."

Spit Roast: The California Boy

-
"He's our California boy, he's unforgettable.
Fine, fresh, fierce
We got it on lock."

We all know him. He's our guilty pleasure. That one blog we're shy to admit we read. Our hot friend has a dirty, dirty mind and a knack for penning exciting and arousing stories for the dirty boy in all of us.

Before there were interactive DVD porn and sex scandals, there was the art of erotic story telling. It usually was very long, and subtle enough to keep you aroused yet always held back just enough to keep you reading until the end. These stories of playful cousins and pizza delivery guys were part of our childhood, igniting our fantasies and dreams.

California boy started writing eight months ago and since then he has attracted more than 170 followers and accumulated almost 12,000 hits on his profile page.

He's the boy du jour, the man who showed us his cock and armpits, and revealed his sexual encounters which his readers lapped greedily. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you ... Soltero.

Why do you blog?  In your first entry, you said "having to express my thoughts and musings about everyday life should be a nice outlet to vent out what's been bursting deep inside of me... this can be my therapy, for seeing a shrink can be quite expensive."

But I can't help but notice you've decided to focus more on your sexual encounters. Why are most of your stories about sex? Why is it important or why do you like to write about them?

I have been reading numerous blogs over the years and I actually had a straight blog that I kept for less than a year. I envied bloggers who were able to share their experiences, their heartaches, their sentiments and their adventures as a gay person to an audience.

I knew that I have a few of my own that are worth sharing to people, so I started blogging again. I wasn't expecting a lot of readers to find my blog, and I told myself that even if only 10 people would read mine and  interact with me through their comments, then that would be enough.

To be honest, I always have the case of ningas cogon - I start a project only to abandon it after a few weeks. I thought I'd be able to blog for a month or two then stop. Here I am now in my eighth month or so, and I have no intentions of stopping ... for now.

I knew that to hold an audience captive, I need to establish what kind of a blogger I want to be, to project. I have a lot of sexual stories that I thought may interest readers, so I concentrated more on that aspect.

Also, I am very much aware that I don't have the competency in writing some bloggers out there possess. So I needed to find that niche for me. I can't compose mind-blowing poetry, I can't write awesome fiction - but what I do know is that I can write literotica, an erotic story out of my experiences that would titillate the imagination of a few.

Well, you certainly did titillate "more" than that. I heard those armpits of yours are now legendary: the stuff dreams are made of. (Grins.)

So, what's the story behind your blog name?

I wish there's really an elaborate story behind my blog name but there's none. I couldn't think of a really good title when I was starting, the first thing that crossed my mind was that, I am still single, I have no boyfriend, voila - use Spanish, so Soltero it is.

Hahaha.

When I started reading some cool blogs, I began thinking how come I didn't think of a much better name, so I thought of adding a word that would rhyme with Soltero. I deal mostly with sex stories, so I thought of sexual innuendos... Soltero - innuendo. Eureka! Soltero's Innuendos it is.

Hehehe. Seriously, I wish I thought of titles like, Comforting Oblivion, Waiting for the Light To Change, Coming Out Of Narnia - some of the few blog titles I really like. But I'm stuck with Soltero's Innuendos. But the title kinda grew on me. Now, I really like it, it has a more personal touch, I think.

And oh, Soltero is also a movie that I watched years ago, I forgot who the actor was. But it was a real sad movie. The lead character, as the title denotes, was single all his life. Matandang Binata, sabi nga sa atin, It was a very sad movie. But a very good one. Can't remember if he was gay, probably not. Hehe

What is the most significant/memorable blog post you've ever read?

I really liked Mugen's post about a scooter bike. What I like about the post was it's simplicity. He talked about the scooter that was given to him by his dad but he rarely used and in the end was just left to rust.

The best thing about the story was that he, the author himself, was unaware of the subliminal messages his story has. It was us, the readers, who realize the scooter symbolizes virility, manliness, that his father was imposing on him. But the realization that his kid was really different came when one day his dad discovered that it was not cared for, and was just left to corrode and rust.

For me, it symbolizes his coming out to his dad even at a young age. Also, in that post, I was able to capture what his true relationship with his father was. I thought the post was poignant.

What is the most significant/memorable blog post you've ever written?

I think it would be "What's Up, Dear Nephew". I guess for me it was my atonement. I did not go into details about what happened but because of his untimely death, I wasn't able to go home and grieve with my family. Again, during his death anniversary, I wasn't there.

Also I have visited Pinas a few times but I seldom got to really bond with him, Of all my nieces and nephews, my older brother's kids are the ones that are not that close to the rest of us. It's hard to explain but it's mainly because of his dad, my older brother. He's got a lot of problems.

Although it wasn't the most commented, I believe that post touched a lot of my readers. Those who commented said they felt the sincerity of the post. I too fought tears when I was writing that. Some found it to be touching and sad, at the same time there's a bit of my playfulness and naughtiness in it, too.

His death became a wakeup call. I suddenly remembered how truly close we were when he was just a kid, even spending nights with me. But when I migrated here in the U.S., I rarely spoke with him. Communication was sparse. Then the guilt and regrets came when the tragedy happened.

Comments from my readers are the reason why I still keep blogging. The moment they stop coming, the moment my readers stop reacting, that will be the signal for me to stop. I can have hundreds and hundreds of followers, but if not one or only a few interacts with me, then my blog posts have not been effective, my blog posts were probably boring.

Who are your favorite bloggers and why?

First one to come to mind is easy - Master Mugen. Not the first blogger I read, but the first one I commented on. I need not explain further, because everybody knows he writes very well. And oh, he can also write literotica you know! Haha ;p

And also, he was the first blogger to follow me. If not for his blog, my blog would be still be an anonymous blog. His readers found mine and the rest is history.

Mandaya Moore & Baklang Maton - I never fail to read their blogs. Both are funny, witty, sexy and at the same time you can sense that both are deep people, their stories may appear light and comical but there's depth to what they write about. And Mandaya makes the best blog titles!

I have always been fascinated with Mandaya's conquests and I swoon everytime he goes into the details of his love affairs. I have learned to love Kulot, Babes in the City, the Soldier and his friends are really wacky.

Sometimes, I wonder, what powers does his Green Sofa have? How would it feel to sleep in that sofa wearing the magic shorts? That I am so curious about. Hehe

Agent Boytoy - RIP. - Heheheh. when he discontinued writing, I died. It was the same feeling I had when I read the last Harry Potter book. I followed his love affair with Cupcake, I enjoyed his stories about his mates. Up until now, I am still hoping he'd come back to write again. Is he still with Cupcake? I wanna know. I wish he reads my blog and answer. Hehehe :P

Bookie's Call Center Confidential has been in my bookmark for years. I frequentlyly visit his site because he never fails to entertain me, I always look forward to reading his Top 10 Hottest Call Center Guys hahahha and he never disappoints with his selection.

It's also fun knowing what really goes on in call centers - the juicy gossips, the intigues ahaha. He is like the Boy Abunda of call centers. His posts are really entertaining, and I think he is one of the best writers around.

There are a few new bloggers that can really write, like Alterjon, and Désolé Boy. Oh, I like Drew's style of writing, too.

How difficult or how easy is it for you to write about your sexual encounters?

It is so easy writing about my sexual encounters. I am sort of an exhibitionist, you know. Haha. Besides all my stories are first hand experiences, I have not written any story that was made up. I tried fabricating a sexual story before so that I would be able to blog one, but I just can't finish it. It appeared so fake.

Do you enjoy reading other writer's erotica stories? Who do you like?

Of course I do! Hehe. The one that I read religiously is Eon's Daredevilry. That dude can write. He writes very explicitly but you won't find it vulgar at all. Of course it does help that he is a really gifted writer. When I grow up, I wanna be like him.

So... I read you have tried topping in sex, but I'm curious if you are open to being a bottom. I mean, if can be fun, or at least that's what I've heard.

I only topped once and as much as possible, I want to limit my sexual escapades to oral sex only. I don't wanna say I won't bottom ever because in the future, I might find someone I really care and love and if he requests that I bottom for him, I probably would try the Versa route hehe...

Hahaha. I hope you will tell us about it. And, being versa is really more fun. Again, based on what I heard, at least. Double your pleasure, double your fun.

I know you have an underwear fetish. How did that start?

I think my fetish started when I shared a two-bedroom apartment with a Canadian dude about 10 years ago in Huntington Beach. I answered an ad, he needed another person to rent the other room in the apartment so I took it. It's a two bedrom, one bath apartment so we share the only restroom. This surfer dude, who by the way is freaking hot, has this habit of leaving his underwear on the floor whenever he takes a shower.

So during times that I use the restroom and sees an underwear on the floor, ummmmm ahahhaa, i check it out and sniff it.

The dude only wears boxers, so I always get high with his undies. He is straight and brings girls all the time, I always hear them having sex, and numerous times I jacked off listening to them LOL

OMG! You sniffer you! Hahahaha. Fucker. Hahaha. I wonder if you ever stole one of his boxers. Anyway, do you have other fetishes?

Six-pack abs turn me on, treasure trails, armpits, straight guys who look like goons, guys who lick their lips and stick their tongue out while talking, VPLs (visible penis lines) ahahahha, and oh, guys who wear their pants or shorts so low with waistbands of their undies showing. That gives me an instant hardon.

Sigh. So I guess you and I can never be... I don't have a six-pack. I don't look like a goon. I'm just a girl standing in front of ... I'm kidding! Hahahaha.

Anyway, you said you don't smoke and drink, and that you run for exercise. Are you health conscious? Are you fit and lean?

Hmmmm. I'm not a health nut, not at all. I don't count my calories, and I don't run marathons. I don't smoke or drink because I just don't enjoy drinking and smoking. It's not for me. I rarely drink, and if I do, it would only be a glass of wine or a bottle of beer, or a few shots of Cuervo. And smoking? Never did!

Sex  (or having my dick sucked ) is my only vice. HAHAHA!

Am I lean and fit? I wish! Haha, but I have kept my weight for 20 years now. I am 165. For my height I think that weight suits me, I was 158 before and I did not look good so I try to maintain that 165.

I don't cook, so I must be straight haha! My fave foods are spaghetti, mixed adobo, chicken curry, and binagoongan.

How are you and your BFF? Are you friends again?

We are absolutely............. not talking. Hahahaha. Yes, he chose to burn the bridges, I guess. I have tried reaching out to him a couple of times. He said he wasn't ready for us to be friends again. The last time he texted was February, he wished me a happy birthday. Last time I texted him was May, his birthday. And yes, he is still my neighbor!

Nanghihinayang lang ako sa pinagsamahan namin, but I am not bitter. I didn't shed a tear for him, nor did I get depressed. I guess I was able to accept our fate rather easily.

I blogged about him recently, when he picked up his package that was delivered to our unit. His reaction when he saw me open the door was priceless. He couldn't seem to look me straight in the eye. I think he has not moved on yet. I can tell.

He didn't even say hello. When he picked up the package he just thanked me and left. Well, I just shrugged it off. I'm not affected anyways. I just feel sad that the months of friendship that we had was just thrown away like that. Oh well...

You came out late as a gay guy. You said you were suppressing it, ignoring it. What finally made you decide to accept you were gay?

I only came out to a few of my closest friends because keeping it all inside was emotionally draining, it was not healthy at all. I knew that I was strange when I was in high school but I did not entertain the thoughts. I led a straight life up until five years ago, when I had my first dick. Hahahaha. If I were still in the Philippines, I would probably be married with kids now. Religion plays a very big role in my decision making. It's really hard to expound on it, if I may I would like not to explain it any further.

Was it by choice that you never had a boyfriend? Was it something you didn't want before?

Again, it's because of my religion. If ever I will have one, it will not be fair to him. We'd both be hiding, and why be in a relationship if you're not gonna be proud of it. So I choose not to have one.

You recently said you are ready for love. What kind of relationship do you want? Do you ever get… lonely?

I just want to have somebody that I can spend some nights with. I wanna be able to cuddle at night, kiss, and do all sorts of nasty stuff. Hahaha.

Sometimes I get tired of those one-night stand encounters. Seriously, we don't have to be boyfriends. We don't have to be in a committed relationship. I just want a steady someone.

Malabo ba? I am scared to be tied down, I am scared of commitments, I just want to be with somebody that knows how to have some fun! At the same time, I wanna be able to do stuff without restrictions.

But how do I say this - I am a very positive person, and I rarely get lonely. I guess that's why even at this age, I look so young (eheheh) because I do not stress over small stuff. I don't let problems get the best of me.

What makes me worry a bit these days is the "GROWING OLD ALONE" thing. It doesn't affect me in a way that it becomes a source of depression. No, not even close. But still, sometimes, I just think about what will happen if I'm old and gray, and beauty has faded (Choz!) bwahahhaha... but nah, I just shrug it off,

When are you coming to the Philippines and who would you like to meet? Are you coming home for Christmas?

Christmas isn't celebrated in the household. Ok, I'm giving away one information there already haha...

If my plans will push through and if work will not hinder me from taking a vacation, I want to go home this December. And I would like to meet everybody (pang Miss Congeniality answer lang Hahaha). Seriously, everybody. Then during the meetup, I will secretly slip notes to those who will catch my attention and schedule a one-on-one meetup.

Bwahahhaha. Tikiman lang naman .... ;P

Oh, baka I'll be going to Europe with my friends instead of visiting Pinas. Niyaya nila kasi ako, pero I'm not sure yet. That all depends in my finances hehe, baka walang budget.

So, who have you met so far and... how was it?

Hmmm haha I won't go into details about the blogger that I met, but yeah, it was JR. We met twice before he left for Oregon. I can only say that we had so much fun (wink wink) on both occasions.

The first time I drove to Northridge (an hour and a half drive) to meet him at a Japanese restaurant (his treat), and I checked out his place for some karaoke LOL. The next, he was gonna visit his brother in OC and in the process, stopped by my place, I took him to Downtown Disney to eat and watch a movie. We really clicked, and we had so much in common. But we are just friends.

Well, that's niceeeeeee.... it's always nice to have friends, right? (Grins.)

So Soltero, we're almost near the end of this fascinating interview. Do you ever worry that it can be difficult to sustain interest in your blog, that people may get tired of hearing sex stories all the time? Do you plan to expand your writing?

I've been receiving lots of comments that although my blog is naughty and have lots of sex stories, they say that what they like abt my blog is the variation of topics. They espcially like the personal, emo stuff that I share in my blog. To borrow from Forrest Gump, it's like a box of chocolates, they'll never know what they're gonna read when they open my blog. Hehee.

To sustain my readership, I guess I will stick to what interests them in reading mg blog and maintain the sincerity of my posts. Probably add here and there posts about topics with relevance like my post about the Gay Pastor. But I won't stray too much frpm the winning formula. I know that what really makes them come back to my blog is reading my sexy stories.

Grabe Kane, I'm so excited!!!! I dreamt about reading this Spit Roast, it's in a magazine and four pages ahahaha!!!

Hahahaha. Talaga? Ang saya naman. Who knows, maybe you will be interviewed for a magazine one day. =)

So Soltero, every guest gets a chance to ask one question. It can be anything in this world. So what is it?

Soltero: In your opinion, what's the real reason readers keeps flocking to my blog? I know that sex sells but lots of blogs also focus on sex and yet do not gain the readership that I have?

You're right S. Sex does sell, but not all sex sells. You know, one time, my friends and I were talking about you, trying to analyze what makes you click.

And I think it is because you write with such childish glee. The way you tell your stories, para kang isang batang tuwang-tuwa. There is a certain innocence and honesty to it that comes across and people are attracted to that. Sometimes I imagine you to be a kid who just discovered gay sex... and in many ways, based on your stories, you really just did.

Plus, you are very friendly to people, you respond to comments and you comment on their stories. Everyone likes a star who is also accessible.

I once told McVie you have mastered the art of popular Pinoy gay blogging: lots of sex interspersed with emo stories. Too much sex, and people feel you're just that, a sex machine. The personal stories make you human.

Awww... nalulungkot rin pala siya. Nahihirapan rin pala siyang mag come out sa pamilya niya.

The sex is great and all but it is these stories that make people fall in love with you. That is how you stole their hearts AND their dicks.